@PrinceNelson
You said - I feel like I've tried every drug going etc.
For what it is worth the statistics show that medication only works well for about 20% of people, doesn’t work at all for about 30% and has anything between mild and horrific side effects with reducing efficacy for the other 50%. As for diagnosis it has been well established that it is more or less meaningless and doesn’t usually lead to any worthwhile interventions. The brain/blame game is still the mental health model used by a majority of people and mental health professionals throughout the world. I am told about 80% of the population and nearly 100% of the psychiatric profession are true believers in this model of enlightenment which claims that mental illness is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The solution of course is to correct this imbalance with medication. The medical profession formally disclaimed this idea about 30 years ago but never seemed to have got around to telling anybody. As for the blame bit, well if nothing else works, blame somebody. The government, your wife, your dog. Anything will do. It might even make you feel a tad better for a little while.
With that said, I do think that medication can be useful at times if both you and your prescriber understand what it can and can't do and use it wisely. Unfortunately this is often not the case.
You said: I’ve done so much CBT that I could write a book on the subject. You also mentioned that you come from the UK.
I have some online friends with MH problems who live in the UK. The things I hear about the use of CBT based therapies within the NHS would make your hair stand on end. You may even be able to add to my collection of horror stories.
The problem I see with CBT and all these other related therapies is that they are merely techniques which are all to easily used in a mindless, mechanical cookie cutter way to try and reshape peoples lives. People are not roles of pastry waiting to be stamped into a socially acceptable shape and then shipped off as an economically viable packaged person. At best these therapies provide a template that a wise, sensitive and empathetic guide may be able to use to help someone move forward a little on their life journey in search of wholeness. At worst they are a cruel and brutal process for chopping people up and creating even further fragmentation to an already damaged psyche.
You said: “I'm really at a loss as to what to do anymore”.
Ok you have tried everything that doesn’t work, what about trying something that could work?
As said, you have already taken the first step by reaching out to a mental health social support network. Is it possible to extend this further? Look around your community. I am sure that there are many people out there with MH problems who would be very grateful for your friendship. Some of my best and dearest friends have had serious mental illness. So serious in fact that the MH authorities regarded many of them as being beyond help. I’m not far from that situation myself. The myth that we are dangerous, stupid, incompetent, pathetic people are just myths in fact as a collective we are probably more able than most to sit back and see the world for the joke it is. You have one fantastic advantage over most people. You have many years of suffering. You know first hand what it is like.
Before you reach out further to others you probably need to muster some energy hence my other suggestion that you “put some petrol in your tank” and try and get moving. You are an expert on you. Others can make suggestions but it is up to you to make the move. The usual advice which seems to work pretty well for most people is to take it one day at a time one step at a time. If that seems a bit much then resort to baby steps.
I have added a list of references to this post. I am not suggesting for one minute you try and read any of them. They are mostly dry academic articles. I put them here to try and keep the SANE forum moderators happy and comply with their rules. As you can probably guess by now, my views of mental health are not mainstream for the simple reason that like you, I found that years and years of main stream stuff simply didn’t work.
Regards
Willy
References
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Moncreif J. Magic Bullets for Mental Disorders: The Emergence of the Concept of an “Antipsychotic” Drug - - Journal of the History of the Neurosciences, 22:30–46, 2013
Johannessen 0, Joa I. Modern understanding of psychosis: from brain disease to stress disorder. And some other important aspects of psychosis. Psychosis, 13:4, 289-301, DOI: 10.1080/17522439.2021.1985162
Alsopp K, Read J, Corcoran R, Kinderman P. Heterogeneity in psychiatric diagnostic classification. Psychiatry Research 279 (2019) 15–22
Frances A. The new crisis of confidence in psychiatric diagnosis. Annual Internal Medicine 2013:720.
Deacon, B. The biomedical model of mental disorder: A critical analysis of its
validity, utility, and effects on psychotherapy research. Clinical Psychology Review 33 (2013)
Carey T , Mansell W, Tai S. A biopsychosocial model based on negative feedback and control. Frontiers in Human Neurosciemce, 28 February 2014. Sec. Cognitive Neuroscience.
By Lila P. Vrklevski, Kathy Eljiz, and David Greenfield : The Evolution and Devolution of Mental Health Services in Australia. University Of Tasmania Inquiries Journal, 2017, VOL. 9
Beder S, Gosdon R. Pig Pharma:Psychiatric Agenda Setting by Drug Companies. Universality Of Woolongong 2003.