ElsieSmithCasual Contributor
I feel Unsupported
Does it make me selfish to want my family to be supportive? I've quit my job and will start a new one soon. Not one of my family members congratulated me and only critised my decisions and saying negative things. They accused me of being negative and say I should be more positive but when I try to be they add only negative to everything I do or say. I try to tell them how it makes me feel but they turn it back onto me saying they don't mean it like that or get over it or it's just feedback. They think I overreact to what they do and say.
My dad and I had a fight tonight and he said they were all tired of walking on egg shells around me and that I'm selfish. He is volatile and unpredictable and I would say I am walking on egg shells with my family and him.
I'm not perfect. My family bring the worst out of me and I find it hard to regulate my emotions and I say things I don't want to say that aren't always nice or how I feel.
I hate who I become when around them. They just think I'm this horrible person. And for a long time I believed them and a part of me still does.
I just don't have anyone to talk to, I especially don't want to put this on anyone else or emotionally dump my problems on them. It's hard because sometimes I wish I could just die or disappear. I'd get more support in death than life.