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The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

QueenieSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 3:06 pm AEDT

The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

My gf got extremely angry and made a scene at my psychiatrist's office yesterday because she was not allowed into the session at his request. I am still trying to calm her down and she is demanding I get a new doctor. I am confortable with my current psychiatrist and he knows all my history. I don't know what to do. I feel extremely stressed out by this which is making my hallucinations act up again badly.

How do I get them both to play nice for my mental health? I need them both on the same page.

6 replies

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In response to: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

KurraSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 5:30 pm AEDT

Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

That is a very tricky one @Queenie! I think most psychiatrists prefer not to have a partner present during consultation unless the patient has lost the capacity to understand exactly what the doctor is saying. It's all tied up in the privacy laws I believe.

As for your gf: It's probable that a new psychiatrist would operate under the same system. Changing to a new doctor. would not be in your best interest. The principal aim of attending appointments is to achieve the best possible outcome for you and in so doing, this will also create the best possible outcome for your gf too.

Can you wait until she calms down a bit and the discuss this situation with her. Stay calm if you can and work through this dilemma one step at a time.

Luv n Hugzzz 💕 🎶 💃

In response to: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

pipSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 5:39 pm AEDT

Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

@Queenie. When your gf asked if she could accompany you on your visit, did you explain she might not be able to actually attend the visit? Usually a psych will ask if another consultant psych would be permitted to sit in the session. This is also subject to the patients acceptance. Having partners/gf's involved in these sessions can be counter-productive because the patient often feels inhibited and won't say too much for fear of upsetting their partner. Perhaps you could ask your psych to explain to her why her involvement in the session is counter-productive, at this stage. If she is told by the professional, she might be more willing to accept, rather than feel she is not welcome. Emotions can run extremely high when we visit psych's/counsellors etc. The patient needs to feel secure enough to unload without fear.

In response to: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

utopiaSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 5:43 pm AEDT

Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

@Queenie. I agree with @Kurra. Once your gf has calmed down - you both need to sit down and discuss this issue.
When you talk - does she listen to you? Does she really hear what you are say? Ask her ti just listen to your views.
Then maybe ask her why she is so upset about not coming into the session with you. Listen to her answer. Hear what she has to say. Is she feeling that maybe the doctor isn't recognising your relationships? Is that her fear?
Does she not believe he is helping you? Or does she want to be your only support?
Ask for honesty with your discussion. You may be surprised to learn what her fears are all about. And it should help to bring your relationship closer.
Good communication skills - equals better relationships.
Please stay with your current psychiatrist - for the moment at least - until you and your gf discuss this issue further.
Wishing you the best.
Don't forget to breathe through it.

In response to: Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

QueenieSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:30 pm AEDT

Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

Thanks @Kurra, @pip and @utopia. I think my gf had an emotional outburst which caused the scene. I think you are all right, I feel less inclined to discuss anything to do with her if she is present in the room. He did ask plenty of questions about her including her mental health diagnosis (she has BPD), how she treats me, whether she is being treated for her condition (she sees a therapist and her GP looks after her meds).

In a few days' time, I will sit down with her and discuss it further. I will listen to her views and see if she listens to me (she usually does).

Thanks for your replies. I appreciate others' views.

In response to: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

utopiaSenior Contributor18 Oct 2016, 7:47 pm AEDT

Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

@Queenie. That sounds like a good plan. All the best

In response to: Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

AppleblossomSenior Contributor20 Oct 2016, 12:18 am AEDT

Re: The battle of my gf and my psychiatrist

Some people have a psychiatrist each and then maybe a psychologist specifically engaged for couple/relationship issues. Then both are clients and it can be balanced and fair. Call around or look on internet for those who do relationship counselling. Then the focus can be more on life issues than issues around the illness & meds etc. Good Luck @Queenie

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