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13 YO with BPD 1

Tuppence92Casual Contributor28 Oct 2022, 12:29 am AEDT

13 YO with BPD 1

My daughter is newly diagnosed with BPD1. After months of sneaking out, running away, school refusal, mood swings, stealing and mania we now know it’s not because she’s a “wild” kid, but because her brain chemistry is wonky. In the past two weeks since she was diagnosed it’s been made clear that she can’t be admitted as she’s never manic enough when the ambulance turns up, the police won’t bring her home unless I tell them she’s going to harm herself (being out in the middle of the night with strangers doesn’t count apparently) or I have the option of having her charged with family violence (not happening). So while we wait for the medication to start working, it’s just a case of watch this space. Tonight she walked out the door at 11.15 and has told me she’ll be home in the morning when the buses run again. She’s turned her Life 360 tracker off. She’s supposed to go for an STD test tomorrow as she’s confessed that she’s woken up in strangers beds and not known what happened. Obviously she’s on birth control. I can’t stop her from leaving and I can’t bring her back as she runs. I just have to ride it out until she’s stable or bad enough to be admitted to hospital or old enough to be admitted to a private hospital.

6 replies

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In response to: 13 YO with BPD 1

PeregrinefalconSenior Contributor28 Oct 2022, 1:09 pm AEDT

Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Hey @Tuppence92

Welcome to the Forums! Thank you for sharing your story. The situation that you are in sounds incredibly traumatic for all of you and I hope that this can be a space for support.

You have a huge amount on your plate. If you ever need some space to talk, please do not hesitate to reach out to SANE's Drop-In service, too, on 1800 187 263.

There are also some good parent helplines too.

Sitting here with you 💛

In response to: Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

tymeModerator28 Oct 2022, 9:29 pm AEDT

Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Sorry to hear all this @Tuppence92 - sounds so scary!

However, I wanted to clarify, is it Bipolar Disorder 1 or Borderline Personality Disorder?

From what you are describing, it sounds like Bipolar Disorder.

The reason I'm asking is because both conditions have similar traits, but the treatment is vastly different.

In response to: Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Tuppence92Casual Contributor29 Oct 2022, 10:06 pm AEDT

Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Sorry Bipolar 1 😞 She’s just spent another 36 hours missing and the police have bought her home. She hasn’t slept in days and they still won’t admit her!

In response to: Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Unknown userMember31 Oct 2022, 6:56 pm AEDT

Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

@Tuppence92, this sounds really difficult and confronting for you. I'm so sorry this happening like this. I imagine it's really scary as a parent.

It sounds like the diagnosis is quite new, but the behaviour isn't, is that right?

I think there something in particular we could work through together on the forums? For example, it seems like maybe you want to figure out how to connect with her and limit the dangerous behaviour?

I don't want to assume what you need!

In response to: 13 YO with BPD 1

Freesia1New Contributor02 Aug 2023, 10:26 pm AEST

Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Hi Tuppence92 - I have just found this forum and read your post from last year. I feel like our daughters are twins as we have experienced almost everything you have with your daughter. Ours also has ADHD. Thankfully some of the initial dangerous behaviours - night time sneakouts are much less, but shoplifting for thrills and weed and alcohol use to dull the emotions has increased. She is now almost 16. I think that having a formal diagnosis makes it easier to access therapy, but the long term nature of the MI is challenging for everyone. We find it's 1 step forward 2 back a lot of the time. How is your daughter now and how is your relationship? Have you been able to get a balance in your life to help you feel supported? Would love to know more of your circumstances to perhaps help each other.

In response to: Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Lex1New Contributor25 Oct 2025, 5:32 pm AEDT

Re: 13 YO with BPD 1

Hi Freesia1 - I also just found this forum and your message, it sounds very similar to the experience we are having with our daughter who is 21.
She also has ADHD, diagnosed early last year. But they haven’t ‘diagnosed’ her as such for BPD1 however as her first psychotic/manic episode back a year ago involved the mixing of ADHD medication and Cannabis… won’t diagnose until she has one without drugs involved.

She went off all meds bar a non stimulant adhd med mid June and was doing really well for about ten weeks.

Uni/working/exercise/relationships/calm/happy etc until about 6 weeks ago we noticed just a few red flag behaviours..

That increases and here we are 6 weeks later having gone through the whole mania experience/ risky behaviour/cannabis smoking/ disappearing all over again. Have tried desperately to get her early psychosis team to help- but like the person that started this thread they say she’s ’chronic not acute’ so won’t take her in. Devastating watching the damage and how bad she has to be for them to do something to intervene- even though we have done everything we can to get her help early to try to stop the situation progressing.

They have finally given her an injection just under a week ago as she refused to take any meds, hoping to see some progress soon.

We know she will be devastated, she’s lost her job, ability to get another, hasn’t finished her semester of uni, list her drivers license and racked up fines, damaged her relationships etc etc..

We believe she started smoking weed again and that’s what’s caused the relapse, but will have to wait until she is well to talk about it.

Our family is exhausted, physically, emotionally, mentally. My husband and I have been fighting and communicating badly, barely keeping up with work/commitments/our relationship, our other daughter has been staying out of the home as she finds the whole thing triggering. We are all triggered as we barely got through processing the first time.

I’m sure you understand the difficulties, how have you and your daughter been since you posted your post?
Have you found anything helpful or been coping ok?

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