Unknown userMember
Is there any meaning in this suffering?
I have memories on stressful days of workplace harassment that I would never been subject to if my parents didn’t ask me to leave a job that I was really enjoying due to “better opportunity” that I knew from the gut and previous work experience that was not a good place culturally. Through my decision making process as a 24 year old, I was told that I was wrong to think independently. When the chips fell I left this organisation with psychosis it was the same parent who cared for me the least and sexually harassed me that he recently admitted to doing after years of denying. I have learnt to reframe cognitively and learn through this life experience (I never should have had) but, i have never been able to hold a job since due to mental illness, despite exceeding performance at my previous job and top academic grades, the only reason I hold so far is by placing pieces of my prior life together where I can (when at my age now I could be having a more stable lives), and each bit of effort I put to current work requires a painful effort where earlier it used to be a happy process of self actualisation, and there is a dent my self confidence, as I am identifying myself (on the bad days like today) as the person who got abused throughout their 20s, at a time when everyone else is making a solid mark and I have severe anxiety relating to abuse triggered at each bit of adversity where earlier it used to be less than dust off the shoulder.
