Social disconnection and severe episodic mental illness

Hello @Jay_

Welcome to the forums, and thanks for taking the time to tell us a bit about your story and experiences 😊

Isolation and reconnection can be really hard to manage, and I'm sorry to hear that the weight of that cycle is something that's difficult for you. I've absolutely struggled with it myself, and it took a fair while to figure out a rhythm of communication that made me feel more comfortable with it all.

I hope that the forums can be a place to offer you a bit more connection, and I want you to know we're here to offer you our support, and to hold space for you whenever you need it 💙

Hi there @Jay_ ❤️

I'm sorry to hear that this is how you are feeling currently. I definitely can understand and relate to the social isolation cycle that seems to happen whenever I feel down or go into a depressive episode.

I think what helps me to get through them (and the consequences that comes along with socially isolating for a while) is the knowledge that I know that I am doing this because I am feeling down, and that it will pass and my motivation to be social again will improve with time. I used to try and force myself to see people, and to go to parties and social events when I was feeling really off, but they only made me feel worse as I felt as if my energy was really drained after them.

Now, I know that when I am feeling this way, it is okay to protect the little energy that I have, and to not expect my body and my mind to be able to do things that I would usually (socially and non socially). In saying this though, I do try and at least keep in touch with a few people via social media or texting them.

If I really don't feel like communicating with people, I have learnt that sending a simple message to my close loved ones along the lines of 'Hey, I'm not feeling too great mentally and just need a bit of time. I still love you, and appreciate you, but right now I am struggling with my energy and will need to hibernate for a little while' can really make such a difference. Then they know what you are going through, and also there are no expectations of you for the next little while. This also helps if your family and friends tend to worry when you don't reply for a while. It helps them to understand how to approach you better as well during this period.

I hope this has helped a little bit,

This is just from my experience, but what you are feeling is so valid and so understandable.

I think a lot of people will relate to this subject too.

Warm regards,

Amber22

Hi @Jay_

Thanks for reaching out and sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your mental illness and the impacts it can have - it sounds like it must be tough.

Do you think you would feel up to chatting with the people you're close to about this at a time when things are feeling manageable? It could be beneficial to let them know that there may be upcoming times when you will disconnect a bit, and you could explain that they don't need to worry, and possibly let them know what could be helpful for them to do when you are going through these periods (even if that's something like them refraining from messaging to check in, if that's something you find overwhelming).

Please know there's no shame in finding things difficult when you have a mental illness, and I hope the people around you are understanding of that.

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Hey @ArraDreaming ,

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tyme

Hey @ArraDreaming

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Hey @Jay_

I think that this kind of social disconnection and a need for isolation is something that is felt across a number of people with severe episodic mental illness. You need to do what you need to do when you are in these episodes, and isolation can be a coping strategy. The guilt of putting people through it and the re-connecting process can be really hard!

How have your friends dealt with this in the past?