Treatment Authority

I've been under a treatment authority for a year, in that time I've been subjected to forced injections. While in hospital I had a nurse call me a *r*t*rd*, another call me a 2 year old (I have a Dissociative disorder 🙃)

I've had a doctor threaten me with police over rescheduling an appointment..

Im sure some of you have similar stories of the abusive ways this system can exert its authority.

I don't doubt it helps people, sure, but that's how they get you, you need help so you have to go to them, but then you get stuck in their system.

You might have to spend weeks amongst other acutely mentally ill people, and if their condition exacerbates yours, well that will just extend your stay.

The Doctors pretend to have conversations with you when they don't care at all about what you say, they just observe you for indications, assess you like a case rather than a person.

But maybe that's just my experience.

I don't doubt others have better experiences,

But mine is that this is like an abusive relationship I can't leave.

I went to them for help and they used that to trap me under their care, declared me incompetent to care for myself and so removed my ability to make choices for my own well-being.

If I do anything to try to defy them, they will clamp down, they'll threaten me with police, hospital or more injections.

They'll act like their abuses are unfortunate incidents that don't represent their treatment as a whole, that they're just nice people trying to help.

Which of course, a lot of them are, but how do you tell those decent ones in the system?

In my experience the younger doctors who haven't been indoctrinated so much are better at helping, they're not so jaded as the consultant psychiatrists, some of which are lovely,

but you never know if you'll get an abuser who gets off on the power, uses it to coerce patients into submitting to their authority.

Some of them are only nice and friendly to your face, because that's their job.

I once had a junior doctor seem totally helpful through the time in hospital, but when it came time for the review tribunal, he brings out things I said 5 years ago, attacks my character and does everything he can to represent me as just a crazy person who needs treatment.

Im sick of them abusing me, threatening me and trying to control me.

Im sick of them telling me that they're helping me while refusing to allow me to have my treatment handle by my private psychiatrist.

I feel so stupid for asking for help, I should have learned my lesson the last time I had a hospitalisation, that the public mental health system is deeply flawed, in many cases causes trauma while it works.

You don't get to ask for help, you get to ask for involuntary treatment.

Out of 3 times I've been in hospital, I've asked for help each time. Every time they've immediately made me involuntary.

Does common sense mean nothing in this process? How can someone who asks for help be involuntary?

I wasn't sent to hospital because I was a risk of harming myself, or others.

I wasn't there because I committed a crime.

How is it law that they get to reduce my rights because they decide I'm not competent? I asked for help, clearly showing I could make decisions for my own well being..

Im just so, sick of this ta hanging over my head, my partner keeps telling me to be smart and just get through the appointments and tell them what they need to hear, but the idea of going along with this, saying yes sir, no sir..

It makes me sick.

I want to scream and rage that they don't get to keep controlling me with the threat of hospital or injections or police, I want to make them send the police and when I refuse to let them take me to hospital, they can just break in with their guns and shoot me because there is no way in hell I am going back to that hospital where they just abuse me, calling me a r*t*rd.

And yes, right after I called this nurse out on it, he tried to deny it happened, that I was just crazy.

I wish I'd showed that nurse the error of his ways, that abusing a vulnerable patient under your care because you're too immature to shut your damn mouth, to call one of your patients a r*t*Rd?

And these people tell me they're HELPING ME?

They're ABUSING ME.

It's the GOVERNMENT and instead of helping me they're just abusing me, and I'm beyond done with this.

At this point I want to give them the finger and go noncompliant just to feel better about myself not tolerating their abuse, not rolling over like a little bitch accepting their authority over me.

I know to just tolerate the situation and do what, they expect of me would be the smart thing to do, and that makes me SICK.

It's just another way to control their patients, by making the only way out, the *smart thing* to be accepting their abuse meekly.