JadejContributor
Distressed and Confused
Hi ya
I've been living all year with not one second where I di not physically and mentally hurt. I have school aged children, a job and other responsibilities as you all but at times I've been paralysed I have no support as we are on a posting away from home and it's our second so I feel like I've been isolated for 3 years it does things to you . The way I see it I have 2 big problems. I think my relationship is mentally abusive. He doesn't see it that way but he's pretty controlling, he won't hear of letting us go home no matter how sick I get or beg and I've had less empowerment in thus marriage plus I feel like I was deceived into this whole way of life to begin with but that's another
My othe orobkem is my declining mental health which I fight every day to manage for my girls sake . I have PTSD from a family tragedy years ago that I cannot at the moment tend to as I'm just trying to get through each shift at work and make my girls happy I dream of being able to take them away from all of this He's not a bad man... narcissistic I'm told by my Dr I have a tribe of people who love me and urge ne to come but in doing so I blow up my family ..he has long lost any empathy for me and sees it as my own doing for not being able to adapt . I have a sick mum I want to be with. I have symptoms I don't understand. I'm fit but I wake with nausea and pain. Yep I have supportive Drs and family i just am frozen by indecision not to mention his constant reinforcement id regret doing anything like leaving we had kids late...I'm 50. A young one yet still 50! I feel like I've definitely lost perspective. Life feels very foreign I'm very raw. ..
