my forever love has ended and I'm not coping

My gut instinct nagged me relentlessly; something was very wrong in our relationship. But I couldn't figure out what, why?

Unfortunately I'm a chronic people pleaser;

Treats me bad, more I do, the more I try, the more I give.

When the smell of an oily dirty rag has all but vanished.

I'm still standing strong! willing, smiling, laughing, and doing all I can to keep them happy.

But some people take advantage, Use and abuse. I'm not saying I'm all victim I'm not perfect I'm not, but when you're being gasslighted, controlled and coerced days weeks months and now year's my thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, choices, shut down, irrelevant, dismissed, ignored, undermined, like I'm not human, unimportant, an embarrassment, revolting, repulsive,

But here I am there I was trying each time harder and trying better to be all the opposite to this man

I was /am still so in love with this man, so attracted to him, and I honestly thought no chance we would seperate, he was everything I could have asked for in a man,

But this really only lasted the first few months.

Three years on....

Sorrow and despair befall me,

What tipped it over the edge of no return was a confession he admitted to me,

Something so horrifying I couldn't believe he told me in a way that he was almost bragging about it.

...