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Books that changed or helped us

Books that changed or helped us

Do you love to read? Is there a certain author or book that has changed your life or really helped with your mental health journey?

For me it’s UK author Matt Haig. Matt writes both fiction and non-fiction. In his fiction, the characters he creates often have battles with mentally ill health and in his non-fiction he writes about his own experiences. I’ve written out some of my favourite passages and quote from his books below. I’d love to hear about books that helped or changed your life!

“And, just as it only takes a moment to die, it only takes a moment to live. You just close your eyes and let every futile fear slip away. And then, in this new state, free from fear, you ask yourself: who am I? If I could live without doubt what would I do? If I could be kind without the fear of being messed over? If I could love without fear of being hurt? If I could taste the sweetness of today without thinking of how I will miss that taste tomorrow? If I could not fear the passing of time and the people it will steal? Yes. What would I do? Who

would I care for? What battle would I fight? Which paths would I step down? What joys would I allow myself? What internal mysteries would I solve? How, in short, would I live?”

― Matt Haig, How to Stop Time

“You will one day experience joy that matches this pain. You will cry euphoric tears at the Beach Boys, you will stare down at a baby’s face as she lies asleep in your lap, you will make great friends, you will eat delicious foods you haven’t tried yet, you will be able to look at a view from a high place and not assess the likelihood of dying from falling. There are books you haven’t read yet that will enrich you, films you will watch while eating extra-large buckets of popcorn, and you will dance and laugh and have sex and go for runs by the river and have late-night conversations and laugh until it hurts. Life is waiting for you. You might be stuck here for a while, but the world isn’t going anywhere. Hang on in there.

Life is always worth it.”

― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

“Sometimes just to say your own truth out loud is enough to find others like you.”― Matt Haig, The Midnight Library

@FloatingFeather @tyme @Paperdaisy @Former-Member @amber22

@Snowie @NatureLover @jem80 @Aniela @Shaz51 @AussieRecharger @ShiningStar @outlander @HenryX @Judi9877 @Zoe7 @wellwellwellnez @Eve7 @maddison @Boo13 @pinklollipop15 @CrazyChick, @Hams , @Faith-and-Hope , @BPDSurvivor

32 replies

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In response to: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Alright, I've got an update everyone! 😎
My fellow P'amigos @PeppyPatti @Former-Member and @Glisten ~

Recently I wrapped up with these 2 books that I cannot stop sharing with others about. May not be suitable for everyone, but I'll share a little and if you're interested, I encourage you to check them out!

How To Do The Work by Dr. Nicole LePera (@The.holistic.psycholigist on social media)

This book shared the lived experience of the author, which firstly made me recognise the authenticity of the writing and that it was not just another 'professional' telling me what I needed to do in my life to feel better. They covered how to set and maintain boundaries (with AMAZING examples), spoke about different attachment styles and the examples shared from their lived experience highlighted some of the experiences many of us perhaps share, that we did not recognise as trauma in our adult years. The biggest takeaway for me was around boudnary setting, LePera suggested for us to tune in to HOW WE FEEL when we are with someone, how do they register in our body? and focus on how you will respond differently (after a boundary has been set), rather than the other person's reaction or response to it. This book is under $20 at BigW, Kmart and even Amazon. I'm going to buy myself a copy to refer to!

It's Not You: How to identify and heal from NARCISSISTIC people by Dr. Ramani Durvasula

A lot of people will say the word narcissist is thrown around so easily, but for those of us who have experienced narcissistic abuse, we know what's up. I love watching this psychologist's videos on Youtube and listened to this as an audiobook (11 hours!) - she also provides many examples throughout the book on how to set boundaries, how to care for ourselves, living authentically and what recovery can look like after narcissistic abuse. I was hooked and think I listened to the whole book over one weekend! She is so full of knowledge in this area - check out her Youtube if you want to see what she's about first - https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorRamani

Both of these books have impacted me greatly in the past month - and both have made me feel less alone knowing that both authors have their own lived experience in their specific field of interest, which allows me to be like "ahhh, I can do this too, recovery is near and I feel less alone".

Happy reading!

Warmest,

PizzaMondo 🙂

P.S. If anyone else has read either of these, would be interested to hear about your learnings!

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Thanks for sharing @PizzaMondo ☺️🌺👌🏻

I haven’t seen these books before, however they are definitely intriguing and I’m going to find out a bit more.
I wondered if some of our other members might be interested in posting here what they’re reading, and what they think of their books? 🙂

@Birdofparadise8 @creative_writer @StanD @StuF @TAB @Blackbird11 @Xibon

(sorry if I’ve included you and you’d prefer not - my memory isn’t the best! Please feel free to let me know 🙂).

A couple of books I like is Thr Brain that Changes Itself by Norman Doidge MD which discusses stories of recovery

 
and The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

 

I particularly like the relationship between trauma and the body, discussed in this book.

@PeppyPatti @Glisten 🌺🙂💜

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Thankyou for tagging me.

You know that Nicole Le Pera book, my psychotherapist asked me to do that and at the time, my carer wouldn’t do it but now I have another carer so Ill pull it out and do again.

Thank you for reminding me……

yay.

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Oohhh, I have the first book in my to-read list - I know it's not as long as The Body Keeps the Score but know I'd probably read it in little bits at a time anyway.. Thanks for sharing these, very interested in the relationship between trauma and body too @Former-Member 🙂

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Any luck finding the book @PeppyPatti ? It's a sign that also your psychotherapist had asked you to check it out! Hope you can find it soon and would love to hear about your learnings 🙂

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Yes @PizzaMondo 🙂🌺

the connection between trauma and cell function and cell ‘memory’ is extremely interesting, and is illustrated very clearly in how immunity is affected by stress, to use an example 🙂

there are a variety of research articles on this, however they are significantly technical in terms of biochemistry, and I always think to myself wouldn’t it be grand to have scientists who like to translate things into lay terms which then could be powerfully used to expand general knowledge in the community, resulting in shifts in how we do things with the aim of minimising stress to improve wellbeing and immunity?
with the evolution of the SARS-CoV-2 virus and resultant covid-19 disease being our most recent immunity challenge, anything that supports innate immunity would be very sensible - including how miniminsing stress (and by stress I mean the ‘bad’ type, not the type that helps us perform) can support better immune function 🙂🌺

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Yes! I wanted to mention the link to our physical health and wellbeing too, I was thinking in the sense of .. for those of us who have gastrointestinal issues - but immunity is also a fab round up.

Upon reflection, what have you been able to take away for yourself from your readings? How do/can you minimise stress to improve wellbeing and immunity @Former-Member ?

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Indeed @PizzaMondo , the link between digestive/gastrointestinal issues and stress/trauma is extremely interesting... from an acute perspective, there is the response from the sympathetic nervous system, which will divert resources away from digestion, which in turn slows blood flow to the intestinal tracts for use elsewhere like muscles and lungs, to how stress hormones impact on digestion and function in the longer term 🙂

There is very little translation I can take away from the biochemistry I have read, due to it needing scientific translation into practice.. I dont have those skills to take chemistry into actionable changes that one can do, however I know that minimising stress by trying to maximise sleep, eating well, staying hydrated, and actively engaging in relaxation does all help immunity. However the spanner in the works is often innate disease process that dont respond to these methods, like with the immune related diseases I have (its genetic, so I cant reach inside stem cells and give them a tune-up unfortunately, and these genes replicate mistakes that cause problems in immune function). Having said that, I still try to rest, eat well, and do the right things, even with knowing I cannot change the status quo 😉

In terms of minimising stress, I try to manage the things I cant control well like how the systems and institutions dont work very well to support some health issues, with approaching them with a sense of keeping this in mind, then using what I hope to be productive advocacy methods to balance out the power differential 🙂

Otherwise, I look at things as objectively as I can in any given moment, using compassion as the hard foundation of that objectivity.

I hope you have a good evening PizzaMondo, and it'll be nice to catch you next time your on 🙂 x

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

@Former-Member are you talking about embryo organ division. When the stomach and brain separate, but are forever linked? Amazing isn’t it.

In response to: Re: Books that changed or helped us

Re: Books that changed or helped us

Yes, that adds another complexity to how our digestion and brain are linked isn't it @Glisten 🙂

The complexity of neurological tissue in the digestive tract results in it being the little brain of the body, the enteric nervous system; a synchronous and reciprocal system with our big brain 🙂 🌺

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