Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

First Date Jitters

wild_roseSenior Contributor17 Sept 2022, 6:08 pm AEST

First Date Jitters

So I'm currently sitting here feeling jittery, nervous and excited about something I NEVER expected to happen. Not only am I going on a date, it's with my best friend of 20 years.

Over the past 10 months or so, he has been a major support and soundboard., when my whole life went to hell at the end of last year I had sworn of men completely, nope, never happening.

Six months or so I visited him, we hadn't seen each other in a few years, and we hugged, chatted and laughed no time had passed at all, but that hug was something different in those few seconds, I new the dynamic had changed. But he had always been my best friend, that's just weird. Not to mention, I've always known he's feeling towards me for the entire 20 years and I always had to tell him over the years, sometimes gently, sometimes bluntly, he was my best mate and like a brother, so ewwwww.

A month or two ago I noticed my feelings changing to something more, but I stuffed them down, buried them with my thoughts, it's too soon from a r/ship of 10 years, he's your best friends, seriously he's your brother gross, you're on the rebound, isn't it a little disrespectful to you ex and what you had, come one he live 4 hours away on a good day.

So I fought them, finally a week ago, I finally decided couldn't hold the feelings in anymore and I confessed everything and we agreed that to explore it further, more video chats the romance 'blossomed' because we or he could finally be completely honest with me without me running for the hills.

We have decided that what's developed is something more and decided that it was a relationship and 2 days ago we made the decision to get together, and we haven't even kissed yet!

He's been the one who has always been there for me, seen me at my worst and picked me up everytime, and only ever loved me for who I was, not whoever I was trying to be. He's the only person I can be truly myself with and feel comfortable with.

He due to show up in an hour, he's making the 4 hour drive for our first date, which I didn't expect and now I'm sitting here fighting my anxiety, scare I'll be a disappointment, that I won't measure up to his expectations, etc.

I'm also wondering how blind to A Hats I must've been to not see what was staring me in the face for 20 years

4 replies

1 - 4 of 4

In response to: First Date Jitters

tymeModerator17 Sept 2022, 6:30 pm AEST

Re: First Date Jitters

Wow @wild_rose !

What an incredible story! Thank you so much for sharing.

I look forward to hearing how you go.

All the best,

tyme

In response to: First Date Jitters

Unknown userMember18 Sept 2022, 12:46 am AEST

Re: First Date Jitters

Ohhh, congratulations! It's tough but ride the nerves. It will be alright. I doubt if he's loved you that long that he'd be anything but happy to have a date with you. I travelled 8hours on a bus for my first date with my partner (my first date ever!) I was hella nervous but later I realised it was all part of the joy too. To feel alive, excited, happy. Nerves are not always bad. I hope it gose/went well. It sounds like you have a good one there, they are certainly not easy to find. You just needed time. Forgive yourself and go have fun. Love, I've found, is worth the nerves. ☺

In response to: First Date Jitters

wild_roseSenior Contributor06 Oct 2022, 4:50 pm AEDT

An update

So I thought I should post an update.

First date went well, remarkably well in fact. I am no longer single and dating my best mate.

I'm thankful he's seen me go through my highs, lows and the darkest places I have ever been, during my last breakdown and admission he was one of the few people I reached out to and he was my rock.

I feel lucky, I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not, for the first time in a relationship I am free just to be me, quirks and all.

The biggest issue we have is the distance with being 4 hours between us, but we've already talked about that and I have decided, in time, I will move back to the city, which suits me. I have a life there that I left many years ago so I can just adjust back to city living as I've done it before and the possibility of actually being able to use my mental health qualifications and getting into the field finally is very appealing to me.

But we have decided that, that is something for later, I'm trying to take this slow and not jump in head first like I'm probe to doing.

I should also mention that for the first time in many years I am actually happy. I was speaking to a friend the other night and I expressed some guilt over moving on so fast after my ex, she set my mind at ease, reminded me that I hadn't been happy for years and that the truth is me and my ex were over long before it ended.

I still can't believe I'm dating him, if you hadve said 6 months ago that we'd end up together I probably would've laughed and said no way.

In response to: An update

Unknown userMember06 Oct 2022, 8:03 pm AEDT

Re: An update

@wild_rose

Congratulations!!! 🎊

I'm so pleased it went well for you both. The very best of luck with everything. I hope your happiness continues.

I know a little bit about how good being happy after so long can feel. I am exactly the same in if you'd told me six months ago that MY guy would be in my life I wouldn't have believed you and I'd likely have fainted from laughing so hard. It's so good to be proven wrong on such a thing isn't it?

Good luck!! ☺

1 - 4 of 4