How to get a referral for diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder - all advice welcome

Hi everyone,

I have tried to get a referral to get help for my memory problems multiple times over the past 10 years and the last attempt ended so terribly that I am actually now frightened to talk to my GP. It feels like it might be the last time I get the courage to try so I don't want to mess it up.

My current GP is lovely but she isn't likely to be expert in trauma, is she? So I'm worried.

The first time I tried to get help I didn't realise that psychologists couldn't refer to psychiatrists. At that time, 10 years ago, I was feeling very humiliated, realising how crazy I must seem to other people when I forget where I am or forget meeting people, etc. So it took all my courage to go along to a counsellor and say "I think I have dissociative identity disorder". She responded in a very chastising tone "I think I'll tell you what you have". And I assume I switched at that moment because I don't remember anything else. I tried again with another counsellor and got nowhere. Then I tried with a GP who gave me like a test for dementia and asked me in the middle to talk about my family. I then failed the dementia test. Again I assume because I probably switched. I had only described memory problems because I was afraid of saying what I thought it was in case he chastised me like the psychologist had. I went back again and was more honest and he said he had to see me switching before he could write a referral. When I explained I couldn't do it on purpose, he went to great lengths (i.e. sexual abuse) to make me switch. But because I was then out of it I still had to leave without a referral. So I went through all of that additional trauma and still didn't get any help. I still cry when I think about it.

So, I am nervous about what to say or do in my appointment with my GP to ensure I get a referral - any advice on that? And I am sure if she is going to give a referral she'd be happy to ensure it is a good psychiatrist with experience of DID but how can I help her find the right one that is expert at trauma?