Voices are back with a vengeance again.

Sorry I haven't really been posting very much the last few days, I've been bombarded with voices again and the content of them is really violent. I see my psychiatrist on Monday and I am worried he will want me to return to hospital. I can't however as I have a holiday with my gf at the end of the month and also I am moving at the beginning of next month.

Sometimes I find schizophrenia a really difficult illness to deal with. I also don't know how to tell my teacher from college I am not returning this semester. I am paranoid about it. Don't ask me why because I don't even know the answer.

I am having to keep a lid on the rest of my symptoms of late. My gf is really upset at the thought I am going downhill again and keeps telling me to "Please don't fall apart on me". I admitted I feel suicidal and have been chatting to Lifeline online but didn't find them at all helpful. I would never commit suicide though as my place in the psychiatrist's chair is taken by someone else who is distraught over my demise. The only reason I feel suicidal is because I want my voices to stop. I can't stand it much longer. They are sucking the happiness from my life.