female 63yr old and separation and effect on family -two adult sons and families are staying away from me

Hi @Peppa,

Firstly, welcome to the forums! I’m Basil, one of the moderators here.

It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly distressing and painful time, I am so glad you are reaching out in hopes of connecting with others who have been or are going through something similar. Please feel very welcome to join into other threads/conversations if they feel relevant for you. I hope you can find some helpful support here.

I can only imagine the amount of grief you have been dealing with, so if you ever feel like reaching out for some counselling support, please feel free to try the SANE Helpline. Counsellors are available weekdays, 10am-10pm, by phone on 1800 18 72 63, or by online chat.

Lastly, a little forums tip, if you wish to respond to or mention another member in a future post, use the @ sign in front of their name and they will be alerted that you have mentioned them, just like I did at the beginning of this post to you 😊

Take care Peppa 🌻

Thanks for this,, I am very happy to have someone to chat to..

Hi @Peppa

Unfortunately I relate to your story. I went to police on the advice of a domestic violence telephone support service. It ended up meaning my ex lost his firearms and ammunition. It did make me feel safer but it still precipitated a hospital admission for my mental health. My ex visited me in hospital saying that he decides when I am well enough ti get to see my tween_teenage children. I said a doctor will decide, not him

The separation was difficult enough after almost 20years but losing the close relationship with my kids broke my heart and I became depressed. I feel like I am through the worst of it and now have a shared caring arrangement with my ex for the children. It took mediation to get there, perhaps you could consider a relationship service? They can facilitate the financial settlement and family impacts too. I feel for you, hugs via cyberspace.

Hi @Peppa ,

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of bravery.

It sounds like a lot is happening for you at the moment. Although I cannot relate to the situation, I can relate to feeling distress - many times.

I've worked to accept things I cannot change. Despite wanting things to be different, the more I 'wanted' it, then more depressed I got because I couldn't get it. Hence, my therapist worked with me on the skills needed to accept what was out of my hands to change. It doesn't mean that I no longer want those things, but it allows me to realise it is beyond my control - that way, I can move forward so to speak.

All the best. I'm here if you need a chat,

tyme

Hi @Patchworks

wow I cant imagine the struggle and personal effort to make sense of all of what you went thru.

Im in counselling atm and trying to reparent myself so as to understand where all this stuff came from. Appreciate your connection,, sending perfect love your way

I'm glad you're seeing someone for counselling. I am as well and it's taking quite a long time to work through everything and stay well. I wish you all the very best in your recovery