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GwynnSenior Contributor
Does anyone else find that since going through Mental Health, they've become the Yoda of their social circle, the person that always gets hit up for long blow-by-blows of an issue that's concerning their friends, and asked for advice? I'm worried my friends are becoming dependent on my advice / thinking too much of my advice. How can I walk this back?
In response to: Too much advice?
tymeModerator
@Gwynn - I hear you! I totally agree! In my therapy group, I was named the 'wise owl'.... out of therapy, people seem to gravitate towards me as though I had a magnetic force.
I end up with limited time for myself. It was okay up to a certain extent, but then it became too much. I used to have phone calls lasting 1.5-2hrs each from people asking for advice/help. I've learnt - now I limit those calls for my own MH's sake. Nowadays, I let them know at the beginning that I only have X amount of time.
That's how I tackle it. It is good to know people trust you, but you also have to remember your own health. You can't pour out of an empty cup. If you are not well, you can't help anyone else.
Look after yourself,
tyme
In response to: Too much advice?
Unknown userMember
ohhhh @Gwynn yes, very relatable! Sounds like you are such a supportive person, even outside the forums ❤️ But I'm sorry this is taking it's toll!
Some things that I find really useful and that we try to encourage in peer work is empowering those we support to take the next step in their journey. This could be asking them about other support they're interested in, have access to or would feel comfortable reaching out to. And I sometimes use the "First Responder" idea. For example, we might be the first person people come to when they need support or advice. But as a first responder, we do our best in the moment then help others take over.
I'm pretty honest with people about this. For example, "Great work for reaching out, but it sounds like you might need some extra support. I can help make a GP appointment to get a mental healthcare plan or find a therapist"
Or even just directing them to other services like the SANE drop in line, beyondblue, relationships Australia ect.
Plus I agree with setting boundaries! It's hard, but useful I think.
I don't know if this is useful? Does it spark any ideas for you?
In response to: Re: Too much advice?
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
@Gwynn
In some ways its a compliment to you, bask in it, but when it becomes draining, I guess its time to, set limits and put it back on the person. What do you think is the right thing ... stating that each persons circumstances are unique ... and claiming your own needs in any situation... etc.
@tyme 's idea of putting a time limit might help. A lot depends on the degree of need in the other and if they are capable of seeing YOU Gwynn in the relationship. Finding balance and parity is no easy task.
In response to: Re: Too much advice?
GwynnSenior Contributor
Maybe this is why psychologists are always like 'what's helped in the past? what do you think would be helpful?' hahaha...
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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