Over think and over reactions

Ouch @Freedom11 ! That hurts! Children are powerful creatures!

May I ask how old your daughter is? (you don't need to answer if you don't want)

I work as a teacher and I've learnt that respect is gained when there's a balance of love and firmness. If anything, boundaries help children feel safe. They may kick at the boundaries, but that's their way of testing how far they can push you.

I hear how hard it is to manage motherhood while battling your own mental health issues. Do you think speaking to the friends you live with will help with consistency in the household for your child?

I reminds me of my nieces and nephews. I love them to bits and want to give them everything if I could. I hurts me to see their mother scolding or disciplining them in any way, yet I also know I shouldn't interfere. When they come crying to me, as much as I want to tell them they can have what they want, I know it's not good for them in the long run. Hence, I always go along with my sister and her husband say e.g. to get off the ipad, not to eat junk food without finishing their dinner, stop reading and go brush teeth....

I'm just a little concerned that I'll be moving in with them later this year. I'm such a softie. But I need to toughen up or they'll rule the roost!!! Thank goodness there are two parts to the house. I'll be living in one part and they will be living in the other.

I know it's hard @Freedom11 - but sometimes it's about being cruel to be kind (of course I'm not talking about abusing children. Rather, it's about setting boundaries and sticking to them - including the people you are living with).

If you find the 'perfect' mother, let me know. As far as I'm concerned, you are doing your best. You cannot ask for more. Your daughter will one day turn around and realise the sacrifices you have made for her.

Hi @Freedom11 , thinking of you and wondering how you are.

@BPDSurvivor Hi. I'm doing ok today thanks. Went for a long drive the other night to catch up with friend which helped . I rang my brother today just to have a chat and he is very supportive and always got my back so was great to have a good laugh with him.

Haven’t heard from you in a while @Freedom11 - how are you going? I thinking of you and wanted to stop here to say hello.

@BPDSurvivor Hi I haven't been on here for a while as I have been really sick. Feeling a little better but still not back to my normal self yet. I took a week out and went away with just me and my daughter which was really good. I have been reading a book called The happiness code which I find has been really helpful with mental health. The doctors have finally sorted my meds so I'm getting more sleep which is good. I have found my mood has stabilised a lot too. . I am still taking small steps as I don't want to undo all the hard work I have done and I just take each day as it comes .

That sounds so positive @Freedom11 ! I agree that it’s good to take things slowly. I was wanting to wean off my meds and working with the dr. The dr’s like “well you take this for x days, then reduce to x times, then over x weeks you’ll be down to x”. In my head, I’m like ‘hold your horses!’ So in two years, I’ve only reduced a little because as you said, I don’t want all the work to be undone.

of course it’s not pleasant to rely on meds, but if it gives the quality of life you deserve, then run with it.

i know so many parents ended up medicating with kids for adhd during covid. Learning from home made parents realise how much their kids were not coping. Parents have found the meds so helpful - their kids can now focus and concentrate so much better.

mind you, I’m not all for medicating kids, but as I said, if it’s going to give them quality of life, so be it.

@BPDSurvivor I'm not a parent for believing children should be medicated. I believe in teaching children how to cope with the right coping skills so they don't have the issues later on in life. As for myself yes the only way to control mine now is through meditation and I have come to terms with it.

I'm now starting to get myself out of my room more and not isolate which has had its own set of challenges but I've found a local hiking track so I can get out and still not get too overwhelmed with people.

I am wanting to get back into the workforce but it scares the absolute shits out of me.....lol.....I'm worried that I will not cope and I'll loose it again so I'm giving myself time before I take that step.

Hi @Freedom11 ,

How are you? Thanks for your responses. I hope you enjoy those walking tracks. Sounds lovely.

As for work, do what’s right for you. Give yourself time to heal and hopefully you’ll know when you are ready to challenge yourself.

Are you up to anything special this weekend?

@BPDSurvivor hi sorry for such a late reply. My daughter and I went and spent the day with her grandma . We all had a ball of fun . Bit worn our now.

I decided to start applying for jobs as sometimes it can take ages to hear back for an interview and I felt I was ready.

To my surprise I have an interview for work on Monday. A little excited and nervous all at once.

ooooo! @Freedom11 ! Congratulations on the job interview! All the best with it! Feeling anxious and excited at the same time is very normal for job interviews.

As for having a ball of fun with your daughter - I’m even a little bit jealous LOL! It’s sounds great that things are going well for now.

Take care and I look forward to hearing how the interview goes. Prepare yourself mentally that you may or may not get the job, and that’s OKAY.

BPDSurvivor