Schizophrenia and work

Hey @Former-Member

I can empathise with most of that! Schizoaffective, an old history of substance abuse, some sort of trauma (but I don't really identify with that fully- my psychologist might argue)

Firstly- great effort to work! And full time now?! I've been working since about 2006 with my current employer, but I only about 6 hours a week. Could do more, but not enough work for me there. Couldn't do full time...anyways back to your post, sorry

Motivation Is hard sometimes (ok, a lot of the time! lol) and definitely when the lows are about. I've not found a perfect solution, but have definitely found being hard on oneself in such times does Not help

This forum is indeed a godsend. Even if, like today, I'm feeling mostly antisocial, I can read through and see 'real life' happening- albeit virtual...

And how good would a relationship with the opposite sex be?? My last relationship was 1999...

I think I just went and dumped that response on you, sorry. Wasn't trying to make the thread about me. Was just wanting to let you know you have company 🙂

(I have the strongest urge to delete because it all seems me me me, but hopefully my intentions seem true)

Hey @Former-Member,

not at all the same thing, but I'm coming out of a pretty serious depressive episode and really feel the motivation thing. I'm working on pushing myself to do more, but there are some days I struggle to get out of bed, let alone 'achieve' anything.

An activity I've been doing as a part of trying to journal is a 'self assessment' and basically it's dividing the page in two, on one side is the worst version of me (drunk depressed grumpy slob) and the other side is the best version (engaged dad who wants better for his kids), and then down the left side is EVERYTHING I did (woke up, brushed teeth, toilet, breakfast, meds etc). Each one gets a tick in the column that it matches, so for example, kissed kids and said I love you is a best me column tick; Had a temper tantrum because I was told I wasn't doing something the right way at work, tick in the worst me column. At the end of the day, I score, 1 point per tick, and then - I take the win. I'm yet to have a day where drunk depressed and grumpy has outright won (he plays a good game sometimes though), and I use that little bit of dopamine to push on.

If you can find a way to game your own brain, at least you're both playing the same game for once.

hey @Former-Member i hear ya! I struggle with motivation alot too and im sorry but i dont really have any answers.... other than dont beat yaself up over the lack of motivation. it will come in time i think.... as we become more well perhaps? thats what i have found anyways... and forcing myself to do things, even when i dont feel like doing it. like today.... i had an idea for a painting, but really couldnt be bothered.... glad i made myself, cause im liking what ive done so far... and maybe i now will have the motivation to finish it, just needed to get started.

good on you for holding down a full time job too! and in defence! thats pretty cool. i havent worked since 2015 when i had my daughter.... actually i work 4hrs a week for my church, but its nothing really. cant imagine holding down a full time job at the moment. so thumbs up for you!

@welcome_snacks

I love that game!!!

Thanks for sharing 🙂

I love that you're gamifying your cognitive beliefs @welcome_snacks. It's so true that dopamine plays such a huge part in reward, so to see a gold star against the column with evidence that you're doing the things that matter and match with the best version of you must fire up the mesolimbic pathway 😊

@StuF @Former-Member , thanks, it was part of a random YouTube video I saw when I was first trying to figure out how to journal and it really resonated with me

@welcome_snacks @StuF @Bow Thanks for your understanding it helps though I don’t see it I am not alone…

and that game seems nice maybe I could try it who knows it might help that not all is doom and gloom

Hi @Former-Member, one of the most frustrating and yet comforting realisations I've had in my MH journey is that we're very rarely alone, bit there's a big difference between alone and lonely.

Im constantly being told I need to be nicer to myself, so I'll share that sage wisdom with you too so that we can both try today 🙂

Honestly though, hope you have a decent lead into the weekend.

Hi @welcome_snacks

Sage advice, indeed! The way I speak to myself at times is awful! I read once that if you wouldn't talk to a friend that way, why are you talking to yourself like that. Not something I practice all the time but I do try 🙂

Hi @hanami, my counsellor said something fairly similar. Best I've gotten to so far is checking myself when I realised I'm doing it. It's one of the tougher things live tackled honestly