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Managing relationships

Difficult relationship

Difficult relationship

I am in a relationship that is often difficult to navigate through.

We live apart but I recently got upset with my boyfriend because he got up in the middle of the night and left my house without saying anything. It made me feel abandoned. We had a nice night together so I found this strange. He did this just a few nights before and told me it was because I farted!
When I told him I though it was rude, he tries to convince me that it is no reason to be upset and I have issues and am being a control freak!

Is it rude to leave during the night after we went to bed together for no apparent reason? Or am I over -reacting?

4 replies

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In response to: Difficult relationship

Re: Difficult relationship

Hi @Jenny123

Welcome to the SANE forums! I'm Hanami one of the peer workers here.

Oh dear, I couldn't help but laugh at you saying he left in the middle of the night because you farted. I imagine that there would be men all over the country leaving in the middle of the night because their partner farted if this was 'normal' behaviour! Ummmm my husband would be one of them. I imagine some people are disgusted by farting but really if you are in a serious relationship with someone, you need to get over it. People can't go holding in their farts all the time. I recently read a story about an influencer who ended up in hospital with trapped wind because she wouldn't fart in front of her boyfriend! She was in absolute agony. Anyway....I've talked way too long about farts lol, omg.

In all seriousness, do you think he has mental health issues and that's why he ups and leaves during the night? It does sound unusual for sure. And for him to call your a control freak because you got upset is odd too.

Welcome again, and I hope I have normalised your farting somewhat 🤗 I'd hate soemone to feel bad because of something is quite normal. I don't think you're overreacting at all!

Sending hugs

Hanami

In response to: Re: Difficult relationship

Re: Difficult relationship

Thank you, it makes me feel relieved to read your reply.

I screenshot the conversation and sent it to my bf. He is now hurling abuse at me. Is there any platform you know of where some form of mediation can take place? Like a third person to hear out both sides when problems like this arise?

It is so frustrating when I am told that I am in the wrong and have issues all the time, when I know he is in fact the one acting strangely. I have questioned his mental health numerous times but he always deflects it back on me.

In response to: Re: Difficult relationship

Re: Difficult relationship

Lol @Jenny123 . I’m not laughing at you, but more the reason behind him leaving in the night…

If anything, it feels he ought to be grateful that you feel comfortable enough around him to let off a bit of gas! Know what I mean?

Unless of course, he has a condition that makes him hypersensitive to smells? Idk.

All the best with this relationship. I hope you receive the support you deserve.

In response to: Difficult relationship

Re: Difficult relationship

it does sound like you are in a difficult relationship and his behaviour is a bit odd. In saying that, my ex swore black and blue that he never farted. But he is very odd.

hooe you sort things out soon and things are easier in your relationship @Jenny123

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