I'm sure others have it far worse than me, however, here's a bit of my story...

I grew up in the country & married far too young, 18 years old, after being pushed into marriage "being the done thing". My dream of being a lawyer meant nothing as I had drilled into me that a girl's role was as a housewife & mother, certainly nothing of any aspiration differing to that. <br><br>From the first moment I met my now ex husband, at 13 years of age, I was aware of his possessiveness & insecurities, but my family thought he was just perfect, & 3 years my senior. <br>We married & had our daughter the following year, 5 years later our son arrived. From the outside, we were the picture perfect little family. Inside, was whole different story. Looking back now, & really only now, can I truly see the web of emotional & mental violence, & some physical violence. <br>After one particular very bad episode, enough was enough, I could no longer deal with my hell mascarading as the picture perfect fairytale, & I chose to separate from my then husband. That's when the real hell began. My family sided with him. I had to quit my job & eventually leave the State as he & his family stalked me, broke into my house, tried to run me over, snatched the children & used them as pawns. He threatened to hurt himself if I didn't return. He also slashed the tyres on his own car & gave himself a black eye & then threatened to call the Police & make a statement that I had in fact assaulted him & vandalised his property. He did this with our children in the car, witnessing everything. The list goes on & on, much of which I have blocked out now. The icing on the cake was both his family & my family stating that they would lie in Court to ensure he kept the children. They told me they would tell the Magistrate that I was taking drugs, having affairs, & was an unfit mother. They also said they would pay for every legal fee & then some to ensure he kept the children. I had no money to fight them, & although they had nothing to substantiate their claims, as they were 100% fabricated, I also knew it would come down to hearsay. It looks normal for the family of an ex partner to make claims the other parent is unfit, however it looks credible when both sides of the families are supporting the claims. <br>My father was the believer in women belonging in the house. My mother had an affair after 25 years of marriage, catching my father completely blindsided. She married the man she had the affair with. I can only assume my father jumped into my ex husband's shoes & chose to empathise with him & transfer the hurt & anger my mother caused him, to me. <br>Never had I have ever touched a drug in my life. I had not had any affairs. I had limited social activities & friends as I want allowed them. I held a full time job, kept an immaculate house, cared for our two children, entertained both families on a weekly basis. I looked the part & played the part. <br>The result... I've seen my children on three occasions in the past eight years, totalling less than 80 hours combined. I don't get to speak to them, see them, have any input in their lives. The Court Order gave joint parental responsibility & he has contravened every single one of those orders since. The Police refused to help. The lawyers were asking for fees that I had absolutely no hope in being able to afford. I didn't qualify for legal aid as he had already applied & been granted the aid & they were unable to assist both parties. Child Support responded with "So, you're confirming he has them full time". I have the luxury of having them enforcing payments from me, with the bonus of no one enforcing my right to be a part of my childrens' lives. <br>It's taken a while, but I am pretty sure I've finally broken. The music to my ears was having my estranged family tell me they saw my children this month, but they weren't allowed to take any photos in case the pictures got back to me. <br>Any normal family would see the red lights flashing & have it hit them just how crazy this situation is. That's a normal family though, that's not my family. Oh, & my family call me now almost daily, to help them fix whatever they're needing assistance with. That relationship can remain valid, but only if I don't mention my children. Any mention of the children is taboo & results in almost instant dismissal from the family again. <br>The nice person in me likes to think the better & feel at least some form of belonging....The realist in me sees them for what they all are, an absolute pack of a-holes... I guess it's which side of the depression fence I'm now sitting on each day as to which person I now am. <br><br>Thanks for listening x