So sick of being overlooked

I've been recently diagnosed with BPD and have a history of self-harm and suicidal ideation. I work in the mental health and NDIS industry and really try my best to help others to not go through what I have and focus on the journey to recovery.

For background, I battled for over four years to get someone to listen to me when I said that I needed help and that it wasn't 'just' anxiety and depression and could be solved with prescribing me drugs (obviously not discounting those who struggle with anxiety and depression, but I knew that diagnosis just didn't fit, and I am a supporter of medication as a tool to assist people to recover). The first time I even sought mental health assistance, I was turned away and told it was 'just' stress. That led to me self-destructing, leaving uni and completely changing my entire life trajectory, because I couldn't cope and was dealing with rampant depressive episodes at the time. Luckily I was able to work through that, but in the last two years, my mental health deteriorated rapidly - I escalated to self-harm and had serious tendencies towards suicidal ideation, both of which I still struggle with, and I was then diagnosed with BPD after my current therapist and I campaigned my doctor to finally re-refer me to a Psychiatrist. I am medicated on a large dose of antidepressents and have started taking anti-psychotics to help with my mood swings but I'm still having issues.

I've asked my GP for a referral to the local Mental Health centre to start a DBT Skills program and complete the Roadmaps program after my diagnoses, and I hadn't heard anything for over a month, so I just called the Mental Health Centre and was told that they never got my referral. I'm ABSOLUTELY CRUSHED.

This isn't the first time that my referrals have been lost, with a previous doctor I had to get my referral sent through four times before it was done, and then it was only done because I sent it through myself. I've had to be the one to call around to source vacancies myself and report back to my doctor because they didn't have time to do it themselves.

Why do I keep getting overlooked? How can someone sit there and discount the risk that I present to myself and how am I so insignificant that I keep getting 'lost' or not listened to? And am I just being unreasonable or should I feel this way? The whole experience has been really triggering to me, the trauma of having to fight my way through the medical system just to be heard and try and get help is overwhelming. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I was writing this to avoid ending up in the ER instead. I (very luckily) haven't had to go down that road yet, but I feel like I'm unfortunately very close. I don't know what else to do.

How am I supposed to help others if I can't even help myself?

I've also just been told that it's now increased to a 12-18 month wait and I honestly don't know if I can last that long like this. That news almost broke me today. I've nearly exhausted my appointments with another provider (community mental health organisation) and I don't know where to go from here. Do I try and get a psychologist long-term until I can get into a program? Do I wait and risk it? I'm so lost and no one has given me a straight answer.

I just want someone to take this (and me) seriously and genuinely try to help me - how is that such an ask?