Life update.

Or, not really a life update. More of a mind update.

I've had an interesting perspective recently. I've found myself really reluctant to do anything, because no-one's going to be joining me on my journey.

I'm starting to realise, though, that you have to start somewhere.

A lot of businesses have to start out with no customers. To meet people, I have to go out alone at least once. It sucks, but it's the beginning of something better. It's hard to think that way when you're at your worst, but I get it.

Someone in my work group got engaged recently. She's like eighteen, and they've been going out for six months. The chat blew up congratulating her. My manager's son got married, and she posted a few photos in our chat as well. Those moments really suck, when you can't relate to it. It's like going to baby showers when you're struggling to have a baby.

You feel so left out, and you feel like no-one can understand what you're going through, when they're celebrating. That's what I mean by "you can't change the past". Those moments hurt a lot. And there have been a LOT of those moments since February 2019. You can't undo them. But you can work on creating a better future.

I hope the pain in the meantime doesn't leave too many scars. And I hope it doesn't last forever. Then again, I hoped it wouldn't last three and a half years, so what the [...] do I know?

I've been really enjoying work. And I've been reading a lot more lately.

I wanted to get your advice on a really annoying habit I've noticed at work. One of my co-workers transfers calls back into the queue, because she feels uncomfortable and doesn't feel like she can help them.

It's the third time I've gotten one of these calls. So the customer says "I was talking to someone else. They were really confused so they transferred me to you. Didn't she give you any information?"

And then I feel the steam shooting out of my ears. That's the thing. It's one of those things that makes you really angry at the time and then twenty minutes later, you think "it's not a big deal". But then it happens again.

Is it worth speaking to someone about this? My regular manager has been in hospital, the interim is on leave and the interim-interim is sick LOL. Yeah, it's been a little weird but she's not far away from returning.

I'm doing OK. Slowly doing better.