MummaG22Casual Contributor
My Dad needs immediate support, tips & advice
Hi all,
First time poster, I'll try keep the story short but it's quite a complex case.
My Mum is my Dad's carer but I'm sort of their backbone, finding help & resources for them while they both crumble. My Dad has a cognitive disability & we believe Bipolar 1 rapid disorder. My Dad has been in & out of the mental health ward. He has many medical professionals, a psychiatrist (who is hopeless), a psychologist (who doesn't really help), GP (doesn't do much). He also has support from other sources like OneDoor who've helped him apply for NDIS but they haven't yet given him any immediate help. No one has given him any tips, advice, activities to do when he is experiencing an episode.
A usual day for my parents is Dad refuses to get out of bed & waits for Mum to bring him breakfast. He yells at himself all day telling himself things like "you're not hopeless, just get up & do it", "why do I feel like this", "why can't I just get out of bed". While yelling out things, he's constantly huffing & puffing all day, he hits himself with his hand, hits & punches walls/doors/hard surfaces. He says & does really random, odd things for example, go out of his way to check the time & then say "if I was still at my old job I'd be home in 20 minutes", things way out of context & things from years ago that simply don't matter anymore. He often has panic & anxiety attacks where if for example Mum is helping him get ready to go somewhere, he'll start shaking & breathing fast & heavily while putting shoes on & saying things like "but I don't want to go, I don't feel like going", "maybe I'll just stay here", but he won't refuse to go, he just says things like that waiting for someone to say "ok we won't go" knowing that if they don't go, he'll just be sitting at home yelling at himself, making no progress.
No one has given my parents any real immediate coping strategies (except myself) to help in panicky situations like mentioned above. I've suggested Mum reminds Dad to smell the roses & blow out the candles when he's panicking, but coping strategies like that only help in that moment, they don't take away the dark thoughts in his head. My question or plea for help is how can I help or point them in the right direction of help, so Dad doesn't have to suffer, Mum too? When Dad goes to hospital, he's fine, not depressed, he's actually very happy there. He refuses to go initially but he knows when he gets there he immediately perks up. As soon as he gets back home after the 3 week program he is back down again. Hospital is just a bandaid for him & respite for Mum. They/we need immediate help & coping strategies.
THANK YOU in advance, any help is greatly appreciated.
