I can’t cope

We don’t speak often now. But we come in and out of each others lives. The connection will always be there. He invited me to his wedding and I’d never met the bride. She is lovely and loved our connection and they have 2 beautiful kids. @tyme

When I lived in the boast my mum got a msg on the answering machine. She rang me and said a blast from the past called I instantly said ‘h’ mum was like ‘I don’t know how you two do it’

If the room doesn’t stop spinning I’ll call. [edited]

I have a short fuse but with a lot of people!

At midnight last night I got a text from my friend in Melbourne asking if I was awake. If I was to ring her. So I did. She answered and sounded like she was crying but I let that go. She was having an anxiety attack but I talked her around. It felt good to help. Shame I can’t do it to myself

How good it is to feel you have helped someone! it sounds like that friend really trusts your judgement. Good on you. It's well known that we are our own enemies at the best of times. I reckon I'd find it hard to help myself too, if I were in your shoes.

I'm off now, but I'll wait to hear from you tomorrow.

BREATHE! @Captain24

@Captain24 You'll be on the road now, but I wanted to wish you all the best for today! I saw that you had a really tough night with a panic attack(s)...I hope you are OK...well, coping...

Sending you wishes and care 💙

Hey @Captain24 thinking of you today. Drive safely. I know you’re scared and anxious, but you have totally got this. You can do it. Rest. Breathe. Allow yourself to be taken care of. Reach out to staff when you need to. ❤️

Thanks @NatureLover @Bow.

I made it here safely, I didn’t really didn’t have much traffic. I was on motorways mostly.

Im in my room. I’ve seen the hospital doctor and met one of the nurses. Just waiting on more paperwork to fill out.

Im sitting here crying.

What have I done…

Proud of you @Captain24 I know it wasn’t easy and you’re scared now. But please just breathe. Rest. You have totally got this!

Thanks @Bow.

Ive got my timetable and information from the allied health lady. I cried.

I have a pool session then an hr break into a gym session. 3 days a week. I could leave here fit! I can’t remember how to get to the pool though.

The groups look interesting. I can’t remember which group room or where they are.

This is stressing me out. A tour after I’ve calmed down would be better.

I had another nurse come in and fill out more paperwork and take my car keys. I cried! She asked me about SI and SH. I was honest. All her questions I was honest. I was a mess when we finished. She said she usually makes people cry especially when it’s their first time. She also said it’ll take a few days before it feels like home.

Waiting to see when I see the Pdoc. It’ll either be this afternoon or tomorrow.

Im not on it but they do a specific ED program here. But it’s private.

All this crying and stress is making me so tired.

Hi @Captain24

There is so much information at the start hon, I rarely take it all in. Just keep asking questions hon, they are used to it.

No doubt you are tired, you have already had a huge day. One step at a time.

I hope you get some nice nurses on. I've got a one on now that is so easy to talk too. Just finished having a one on one with her.

I bloody bet you're tired @Captain24! Big, biiiig day!

I can imagine you're pretty overwhelmed hey, but already it sounds like the staff are lovely, and you'll have plenty to do to keep busy. Perhaps when you've settled a little you can ask if someone has a map, or could draw you one. My sense of direction is hopeless, I'd get so lost as well lol.

Will tonight just be about resting and setting yourself up in your room? What's the room itself like, you got a window you can look out of? Hopefully out onto the forest you mentioned the other day 😊

So much @Snowie. It’s all just too much.

Everyone I’ve meet has been really nice and supportive.

Im glad you’ve got someone nice to talk too.

In my room there is little cards with things like ‘I don’t feel safe’ ‘I need support’ ‘I need help with grounding’ ‘I need someone to sit while I cry’ etc. I just have to slip whatever I need under the door and someone will come.