I can’t cope

Life has just gotten out of control @fluffylight and my low mood isn’t helping. I’ve got no energy or motivation left. I have so much to do. Like mow the lawns, pull all the weeds out of the garden beds, clean the whole house and iron 5 loads of washing.

With everyone at work getting a bill, me getting a $2000 refund is good. However if pixies leg is what the vet thinks I’m looking at $10000 - $15000 for surgery. Her X-rays on Thursday are about $1000 plus I have a car to register and get fixed.

Even writing this makes me more overwhelmed. When I get like this I can’t do anything. I’m in a massive downward spiral. I feel sick. My head aches. My heart rate is high. My hands and feet are tingling. I have no concentration. I just have nothing.

I’m hoping if I just get up in the morning and start it’ll be easier @fluffylight. That’s my wish anyway.

I shouldn’t really stress until the X-rays are done and see what my vet says. I trust her totally so I’ll go with whatever she recommends.

I have some really strong urges tonight.

Hey my dear @Captain24

I'm really sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time and experiencing urges.

Please remember to be proud of yourself .... it takes such courage for us to admit our challenges. You have come so far with everything that has been going on lately. You're not alone in this.

I'm going to check in with you via email, will this be ok?

Thanks @fluffylight

The distraction has been really helpful. It has helped me, up until now with my urge.

I’ve just taken my meds so I won’t be asleep for a while.

That would be good please. If that’s ok? If others are needing you though, I understand. Mines not as important.

I don’t know if you have read the emails @fluffylight

My head is all over the place. There is just a huge pressure building up inside of me that I need to release. (I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that)