I can’t cope

I don’t really Cate for much wildlife @tyme. I travel at dawn and dusk and I see so many of them and they cause so much damage!

We really need some rain. It’s that dry and there is no food for them so they come to the edges of the road.

Also we desperately need rain as the bushfire season is going to be really bad. We have already had an emergency warning grass fire.

Also.. yes I am exhausted @tyme

4:30 am alarms for 3 days is a lot! Especially when I didn’t sleep well before the first one

Yikes! 3 days in a row is a killer @Captain24

I hope you get some rest tonight.

We've had lots of rain here this afternoon. I hope it moves your way.

Hope you can wind down a little before going to bed.

It is a lot. @tyme I also get up at 6am tomorrow. I take Pix for a walk, do some shopping and do housework and things. I make sure I keep moving. Then I go to bed at lunchtime to get some sleep ready for the first nightshift.

Rain is really hard. If we get enough it will green up the dried out paddocks but if it doesn’t continue everything gets extremely dry again on it has grown more. It’s a double edged sword.

They are talking that it’s going to be a really hot, dry summer, strong winds with dry storms. We don’t need lightning! It starts so many fires. We had a dry storm last week and it started 4 fires around here.

We have already had a few total fire bans.

As for winding down, that’s going to be hard. I have so much running through my head. That I can’t talk about on here.

Sorry. It’s been all about me. Im pretty self centred. Sorry.

How’s things with you? Your sleeping arrangements? The in-laws?

That sounds so dangerous... fires, floods, lightning, storms @Captain24 . Sounds like you need all those emergency plans in place because everyday can be dangerous.

I can see you have everything planned out for the morning. I guess that is good in that you know what to expect. It takes some cognitive load off, especially when your mind is wandering here there and everywhere.

My niece is learning to sleep on once side of the bed. Usually, she sleeps diagonally right across the entire big bed. I still have to wake up and push her over to her side... at least it's only occasionally now... not ALL the time.

I don't know how I'm going to cope with the in-laws here for a year. I try to be polite and bite my tongue.

I've been hiding at my place and just chilling on the lounge so I don't have to see them. They aren't 'bad'... but I just need space.

My niece sang "You raise me up" tonight. Wow.. she's got such an amazing voice. I never knew how strong her voice was.

My niece and nephew have piano lessons. Supposedly, the piano teacher said my nephew is pitch perfect and he'd never seen a kid his age absolutely spot on in terms of pitch. His teacher at school loves my nephew (and vice versa). She find him really cute when he suddenly breaks out into song in the middle of class. Geez he's cute... but so cheeky too. Come to think of it, he's not 5 anymore! He turned six a few days ago!

Life is life.... just gotta keep going. I'm looking to buy another bed but I don't know what I want. I want to be able to clean under it easily so I don't want those gas lift ones or drawers under... but then again, I don't know what I want.

Anyway, enough about me. I hope you have a good rest. Do you have a bath tub? Can you soak yourself in the tub?

Yeah.. that’s living in the country for you! @tyme

Yeah my day tomorrow has to go as planned. Im hoping it will be distracting. I start the day, usually, with a productive mindset.

Hahaha.. learning how to sleep. If I had to share my bed it would be a massive problem. I like to sleep in the middle. If Pixie allows it. You would be surprised how much room a chihuahua can take up!

Oh…piano lessons. I learnt the organ but wanted to learn the piano.

Sounds like they are talented in the arts. It’s good that they can find talents at a young age. All 3 of them sound like they have so much character. It will be interesting as they grow.

Just think you’ve got 2 less days to go! 😂 Having your own space is so important and I hope all recognise it.

A new bed will be good, then you can sleep at your own home. My bed is a frame and mattress. It’s hard to clean under it though. I can’t lift the mattress off, it’s way to heavy!

I do have a bath. I think it’s a bit late now. It takes forever to fill. It’s huge. I can fully submerge myself in it! My mum can’t get in or out of it. It is beautiful.

Oooo @Captain24 . That bath sounds lovely. Do you have water restrictions?

With the newer houses, the bath tubes are so tiny, you have to squash yourself into it... as if you would stay there for more than 10 mins lol.

I have a bath tub here that is huge and takes a long time to fill... the sad thing is, that by the time I fill it, it's not steaming hot anymore!!!

I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping. But my meds help with that now. On a quick release, I used to conk out after 20 mins... now I'm on an extended release and it is much better because i don't get the knock-out effect, but it still helps to a certain extent.

I'm quite happy with my meds. I don't think I really need one of them, but the side effects of coming off it are too horrendous for me to think about at this point in my life.

We haven’t had water restrictions since I was a kid. @tyme. My bathrooms are in tank water but since we haven’t had any rain my tank is empty. (A bit like myself! 😂) I have a pump and switch it over to town water.

When I built this place I could select the inclusion. They gave me a list to choose from and I could add or remove what I wanted. With the bathroom stuff they went through a place where my best friends mum worked. So I got what I wanted for the same price! I removed blinds but that covered the cost of a 900mm oven and the larger cook top cooktop and fully zoned ducted aircon. I didn’t like the ducted they were putting in.

My meds don’t knock me out but I do have a problem with that. If I take sleeping tablets i barely sleep and if I do nod off I have horrific nightmares.

One antihistamine that puts you to sleep sends me hyperactive!

I think if things are all going well, why risk it. But that’s just my thoughts

Agreed @Captain24 . It's all going so well, that I don't want to risk it at this stage.

I used to have sleeping tablets when I had insomnia, but i hated them because when you wake up, you feel like you've been hit by a bus. These meds I'm on now do the trick and my body seems to be okay with it - apart from the weight gain and sugar retention in the body.... oh well. I just have to be careful with my diet. My body's not getting any younger I guess.

Anyway, thanks for the chat. I'm off now. We'll chat later in the week 🙂

Please take care of yourself and reach out if you need anything!

So I got up and went for a walk this morning with Pix, mum, dad and Angel. It could possibly be the last walk I have with Angel. It was so sad and I may have shed a tear or too. We took some photos of ourselves with her. In case it is the end.

This could be the last photo of them together. We will all be devastated when it happens but I’m really worried about Pix the most. I don’t think she is going to handle it at all.