I can’t cope

I just read up on radical acceptance @tyme. That is really hard. I have bookmarked it though so I can keep coming back to it.

The spoon thing though I can take day by day and do what what I can with the spoons I have.

I’ve just come home from tea. It was ok. Dad seems ok. He gets his results at 1 pm Thursday. I told them that they can only tell certain family members before they tell me. So when I wake up at 4:30 I hear it from them not a msg from the cousin that rang me last night. I’d like to get the correct information. The cousin has really bought me unstuck with what she carried on with last night.

Im feeling really low and exhausted. I literally have nothing. I am really struggling.

Thanks @creative_writer. At least I can say I have had a win for the day even though it was really tough.

Yes, I agree that Radical Acceptance IS hard. I found it hard too @Captain24 . Maybe it's about having the knowledge, and then in time, you'll utilise it. That's what it was like for me.

I just called for help for the 2nd time today. I struggle to call even once. I don’t know if it means I’m in a really bad place or if it shows I’m growing. But it’s not a good feeling needing to call twice.

I’ll keep reading over it @tyme. Maybe it will eventually sink in.

Good one you for getting out @creative_writer

Kudos to you @Captain24 . It may mean you are needing more help, and yes, it can also mean you are growing. It sounds like your body/mind is saying, "You can't do everything on your own. This time, reach out." And that's totally okay.

There's also a fine line to 'over-relying' on others and telling yourself you can't do anything without someone else - but this is NOT you.

So yes, I do see growth. You been sitting in this low space for a very long time. Yes, you have reached out to your CM and others, but when you need it the most (e.g. in the evenings), as you said, you rarely call anyone.

Give yourself the credit. The call may not fix things, but it helps to release some pressure so the thoughts don't stay in your mind going round and round.

Thanks @tyme @creative_writer.

Im going to head to bed. I think it’s the best place for me right now.

I hope you both have a good night and sleep well.

Thanks for the support.

Take care @Captain24 . We'll chat midweek.

@Captain24 💕💕

I feel bad writing this when others are struggling so much.

I had a really good day today. Work was good and I feel good. I’m on such a roller coaster. I go from needing to call for help twice in one day to feeling really good. It’s really exhausting but I’m taking the good while it’s there.

Sorry to those of you that are really struggling.