I can’t cope

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@Captain24 wrote:

Totally burnt out @AuntGlow. pushing myself to hard so I can forget.

I can try but moving slowly allows room for my brain to think.

It doesn’t matter what I need. It is what it is.

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Good afternoon @Captain24,

I understand how this is the only way your mind and body knows how do things right now. 💛

Hmm, I can hear you need the speed to reduce your mind from coming into play, so maybe we can reframe - less about slow and more about soft.

So, this could look like shifting some of your internal dialogue from, "It doesn’t matter what I need. It is what it is" to "I am going to get x, y, z done because it's important to me, but I am also going to gentle with myself if things aren't done perfectly."

Does that make sense? ☺️

Sorry I was at work @AuntGlow

I feel like my brain is about to explode. I feel that I need to move and be in the go but my body is just so tired right now. I finish work Monday morning and I already have Monday afternoon planned out. I’m going to mow the lawns. Huge effort, huge push especially after coming off nightshift but my head is telling me that it has to be done and has to be done then.

It does makes sense but right now I just can’t slow it all down, it’s all about pushing myself. I done think I’m making any sense but my head just won’t stop

Ello @Captain24 !

Good to see you!

When i read that you feel your brain is about to explode, it reminded me of today. I was in a meeting. I said, "Can I just suggest something?"

The facilitator said "yes, go ahead"

I said, "I'm so brain fried, I think we should stop". It's the first time i've ever done something like this, and so I was a bit hesitant. Then 2 other people said, "Me too".

So the meeting stopped! LOL

Now I know to do it again because maybe, others are feeling the same!

Heya @tyme

Well done for speaking up for your needs. I’m sure the others a grateful too! It sounds like it was a lot!

Im sure there is always others that have just reached capacity. I was doing something with my psych one day and said that I couldn’t do it anymore. So she changed the subject to lighter stuff!

My mind is racing so much. I literally feel like it’s about to explode. I have to keep holding my head. I feel charged inside. It all feels out of control. I feel out of control. I feel like I’m losing a sense of reality. It’s all about keeping going until I finally break. But I’m not sure what that looks like.

It won’t stop.

Is this ADHD med related? @Captain24

I know my mind can buzz a lot.

Or, can you curl up in your room and ground yourself like last night?

Also, did you get your favourite run at work today?

I don’t know @tyme. Are you on meds?

It’s really scaring me as to what I’m capable of doing to myself. Pushing myself beyond the point of no return. I need to stop, I need to settle, I need it all to calm down.

I didn’t sleep well last night either! My night routine that I described last night is what I do most nights. I’m so tired and exhausted.

I got my second favourite run!

Did I tell you I slept at 4am this morning! I couldn't sleep! I even stayed later on the forums last night and didn't even realise. Shaz51 didn't sleep well either.... what's in the air?

Jokes....

Thoughts are thoughts hun. Be kind to yourself.

Do you have a bean bag? I LOVE bean bags but I don't have one because I think it'll get dirty lol @Captain24

Sorry. That was too much. I shouldn’t have shared. @tyme

Sorry you didn’t sleep well either. I’m trying to work on very little sleep. I did notice you around later

No I don’t have one but I wouldn’t have it anyway. The dogs would. Between all the dog beds, bones and toys I don’t have any room anyway!

Totally! Then I think I was hanging around and didn't know... and come to think of it, I just looked at the time now and it's 9:57! Yikes! I usually start wrapping up and completing admin by 9:30pm....

ADHD? An no, not on meds yet.

Oh, and I haven't recieved my visa to go overseas. I lave soon, and my sis is stressing because they've all got theirs and I don't have mine. It's still 'processing'.... @Captain24

Anyway, if I don't reply, take care and look after yourself. Write the thoughts down on paper put your thoughts to bed..

Otherwise, we need to talk about worry dolls! I remember making them with the kids. They had to tell the worry dolls everything.

It’s ok. I’m sorry that I kept you late. @tyme. I’m sorry that I told you that stuff.

At least I’m not your problem for the next few nights. I’ll be on nightshift. If I don’t have a complete mental breakdown first.

Arr you going to look into meds?

Bugger about the visa. I hope it comes through really soon as it’s only 2 weeks or less isn’t it?

It’s hard to write the thoughts down as there is just so many and I don’t know what is what.