I can’t cope

I know you ran out of time and I’m cool with that, please don’t think I was upset about that. @Jynx. It’s questions I want answers to or guidance but it’s all up to me I guess. I have to work it out.

I had my self care day. I’ve done lots. Coasters, 3D puzzle, 2 lego kits, made some squishies, started a mosaic and had a sleep in! As much as I hate to admit it it was just what I needed. 😜 Maybe I should listen more and take the pressure off myself. Tell myself it’s ok to not do anything in a day just what I want.

I don’t feel any better about myself or have eased a low mood but I do feel more relaxed.

Hey @AuntGlow

I had a self care day today and did lots of stuff. I have literally just posted pictures.

Im a bit low but I guess I have to admit that a self care day was needed and I should do it more often.

How are you going? Get up to anything on your days off?

@Captain24 I mean... you are allowed to ask questions? Definitely not something you have to muddle through alone!

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@Captain24 wrote:

Maybe I should listen more and take the pressure off myself. Tell myself it’s ok to not do anything in a day just what I want.

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Yes yes yes 100%!! As the saying goes, 'If you do not schedule time for rest, your body will schedule it for you.'

Those are cooooool - love the gingerbread house! And the figurines at the end... they remind me of Jumanji pieces!!

I feel like it’s expected to do it alone @Jynx. Asking for help is really hard. I shouldn’t have asked.

I think I push myself too hard so I can say I have accomplished something. To prove that I’m trying to get better. To prove that I am being recovery focused. (Those words run around in my head all the time, they scare the hell out of me on here). If I don’t push myself then I have failed. It’s so hard. At the same time I’m so burnt out. I’m getting to the point of not being able to function. To barely able to put one foot in front of the other.

Those little ones are squishies, it was a kit from Kmart for kids. The gingerbread house was so fiddly in the end. All the little things that went on the shelves inside.

@Captain24 I can hear how down you are hun - I mean, about a lot of things, but I'm talking about feeling like you should not have asked for help. Do me a favour, and shimmy shake those words on out your brain?

Legit if you physically get up and do a big like...wet dog shake... release some tension from your body. Then if you feel extra spicy, you could try to say to yourself out loud - "It is ALWAYS OKAY to ask for help."

Okay just so you know, I'm going to do this too (though you really are under no obligation ofc). Maybe it'll be kinda cool knowing that somewhere out there, the other is doing the same, very silly thing 😋

BRRRRRGBLRBLROOBLBLRLRRMMMMMM

^

my wet dog shake noise that I just made 🤣

Something I want you to remember is that we do notice your accomplishments hun. You putting one foot in front of the other? We see that. So yes, the system flags some of your posts, and we have to apply to rules to you same as everyone else. But we also see you, we understand that you're struggling, and we also see that you're trying. You don't have to 'prove' to us that you belong here.

Okay so fair warning the wet dog shake made me slightly dizzy, writing that was an EFFORT. But yeah maybe sit down after 😝💜

Oh yes!! I just saw. The gingerbread house is SO cute. @Captain24

I am glad you are allowing some time regenerate. You genuinely deserve it. Every time you think you don't it might be helpful to acknowledge how much work takes out of you and that sometimes more busy brains need extra downtime to process and unwind. And that's okay. 🫶

Umm, I have been stressfully piecing together this essay. haha It's due tomorrow! 😅

I am down @Jynx. I’m tired. I’m not sleeping well, I keep waking up in the night sweats..old age. I’m exhausted. I’ve got to see tomorrow if they are skin cancers. I just have nothing.

You don’t have to worry I’ll leave you alone next weekend as I’ll be on nightshift.

I tried it and it made me feel sick. I’m not feeling overly well. I think it’s the pushing myself so hard.

The last email didn’t acknowledge anything. Just warning me that next time I’m out. Can you see why I feel like I have to prove myself? Not that it’s working though. I am trying but it’s just not good enough. I’m never good enough. I’ve been working on it with someone else and I have failed them too.

It started out pretty easy just putting all the wooden parts together then it just kept getting harder with all the fiddly little bits @AuntGlow

Im waiting to see how the coasters turn out but I can’t take them out of the moulds yet as they aren’t set. It’s different resin to what I have used before so I’ll leave them in longer than the 24hrs and it’s pretty cool here so they may not set properly.

I should do it more but I push myself to do other things like chores and I make so many of them. Work is a lot. It’s 62.5 hours in 5 days including nightshifts so it is hard. You finish exhausted.

Oh that’s an adhd thing! I always left mine to the last minute. Like start it the night before! I hope you get it together quickly. Do you have much to do.

@Captain24 but what if I don't want you to leave me alone? 😝 AKA feel free to tag me any time and I'll see it when I see it!

So any other member would get the same email. However, we're always open to feedback about improving how we communicate with members. If you have any thoughts about what might make that experience less scary for you, please let us know!

I hope you can catch up on some rest, get some doggie cuddles, and do more art! I shall chat to you next time lovely 💜

So that red mark on my arm has been removed. 75% chance that it’s a cancer @Jynx @AuntGlow @tyme Just wait and see what the results bring in the next couple of weeks.