I can’t cope

Just seen this on Facebook and thought it was fitting. If this is not ok then just delete it.

ADHD is horrific.
It’s a debilitating life long condition with no cure.
It can ruin your career, your relationships, your finances and your health.
It can lead to addiction, homelessness, loneliness and depression.
You second guess yourself, you feel worthless, you want to change but you fail every time.
It’s not just lack of focus or losing your keys.
It can be so detrimental to your daily life leading you to feeling like a failure.
I wish people would stop comparing it, I’m lucky to be alive, the struggle is real
#adhd #community

Thank you for sharing this @Captain24.

I have seen this too... and it's a really powerful, important statement. ADHD is so complex and misunderstood... I am really proud of you for learning more about your mind and how it works, and supporting others through moments of advocacy like this.

How are you today? 💛

It feels so accurate. It’s not easy @AuntGlow and I know it’s not recovery focused

It was an okish day. I got to do my favourite walk that we do here. I had a really limited time at the beach for me time. I had to come back early so we could walk the dogs with my brother and all he did was sit in the water with his dog. Pix hates that beach and just walked to the entrance of where we go in. There was nothing but it all being about his dog.

We have just had dinner and now I have nothing to do. It’s going to be a long night.

How was your day?

No, it was really valid and a wonderful share @Captain24.

I'm glad you got to do your favourite walk, that must have been nice. 🥰

Aw, poor Pix!

Hmm... what were you hoping for during this time with your brother? It sounds like maybe you were wanting some more connection or presence?

Is there anything you can do for you tonight?

I am feeling rather tired today - got the pre-menstrual low executive functioning happening! 💛

Pix should have a fun day today if it’s not raining. @AuntGlow. It’s looking pretty overcast right now.

I didn’t want anything with my brother. Mum did though. When we come here we don’t see him much so mum is making more of an effort this time and so is he. We did give him his birthday presents though. He actually gave a little smile when he opened mine. Usually he just goes ‘humph’ it was just Lego but a Nintendo game boy one though. Mums was a barometer he actually showed that he really liked it though which is a massive change.

O just went to bed early. Being out in the sun all day made me tired plus it was 31 degrees and I’m a little sunburnt. I loved the temp and weather though. It was awesome for me but too hot for the dogs.

Pre-menstrual is the pits. I hope you don’t struggle to much with them. I know some people just fly through them and others are bedridden.

One bonus with getting old I must be close to not having them anymore. Maybe the gyno can give me some idea but I guess there is more pressing matters.

Good afternoon @Captain24 🌞

Oh wow, that must have been so nice to experience a little smile at your gift. That definitely sounds like progress. Is he older or younger? I am not familiar with your relationship, but I am curious to know more.

Ah, yes. Sun definitely makes you exhausted after a long day.

I am looking forward to more weather like this. 🤩

I get a reaaaally long lead up and it can be hard. It's more mental and emotional than physical though, which in some ways is quite lucky.

Oh yes, when do you see them next? I have never actually seen a gyno before!

Also, how many weeks until your psych is back now? How are feeling without her present? 💛

He is 2 years younger than me @AuntGlow. He has always been the golden child. It was always, Captain isn’t as smart as him, Captain isn’t as outgoing as him, Captain doesn’t like the good music he likes, Captain has to work hard at school he doesn’t. Captains friends at school aren’t nice but he has a great group of friends. That was just at school not what happens now.

He doesn’t call or message and when he does mum has to tell me all the good stuff he is doing. I’m still compared to him but I am clearly more successful (not that it’s a competition in my eyes) I don’t really have time for him. All he does is make sarcastic comments to me and put me down. He is an arrogant piece of shit. I get a text message for my birthday and that’s it. I use to send him money for his birthday and he wouldn’t even send a thanks response. I sent him and expensive Christmas present but it took until I saw him in the February to know that he even got it. He has recently needed money so he has asked me. One time I gave it all to him and couldn’t buy food. So yeah.. he is quite a big trigger.

Im really tired today as I e spent a lot of time in the sun and wind. I feel healthy though. The sun and water just does something to me.

I’ll post photos in a minute but we climbed up rocks today to see the waves crash against them. It was pretty cool. The dogs loved climbing. Then mum and I went to another spot and saw whales! They fully breached out of the water and come crashing down. It was amazing. There was a few of them most of it was there fins slapping against the water but it’s also one thing off mums bucket list.

I start feeling it about a week and a half before it. So I get the long lead up. It’s good that there is no physical pain.

I’ve never seen a Gyno before either so I’m a little uncertain. I had an ultrasound that showed up a polyp. Apparently it’s pretty common and not much to it, however I got in really early as it was decided that it was urgent so it’s a little concerning.

2 more weeks!!! It’s been a bit of a roller coaster. I have the medical stuff, the emotional stuff and the crisis stuff. So it’ll be an interesting appointment. I also have a red mark on the inside of my wrist that started as a dot and has grown about 1 cm circle. I’m thinking it may be a skin cancer but not sure apparently mum said there is one on my back too. But I see my dermatologist on Monday so she will sort it out. So there is a little bit of medical concern right now.

Sorry.. that was a @Jynx ramble.. I’m getting good at them. But I have to say pretty much everything as you won’t see this until the end of your shift which can be hard as I do open up some wounds and get left a little triggered.

@AuntGlow @tyme @Jynx

The whale @AuntGlow @tyme @Jynx

Please ramble away, I am here for it! @Captain24 💛

Gosh, that would be so so hard to be constantly compared to him... I am so sorry this was your experience. I can imagine it must be quite challenging connecting with him and feeling comfortable with your history.

(Not so low key love that you're acknowledging your success here by the way - YES!)

You are so giving and kind toward him Captain. 🥺 You deserve that same consideration in return...

Healthy, ah, that must feel really good. 🤩

I saw!! Those pictures are stunning. I have been obsessed with underwater videos over the past couple of days haha so that's really cool!

Oh yes, I have heard that polyps are common. I think monitoring it is the best thing you can do, as it can be many non-concerning things. ☺️

That would be really stressful... I am glad you're seeing your dermatologist. I get lots of skin things too - I am hopeful this is also something benign for you. 🥰

2 weeks is so soon!! I am sure seeing her will be really lovely.

I just saw this message, and I understand, it would be tough sitting with those feelings without a response straight away. Would you feel comfortable engaging in other threads to maintain connection and grounding? 🫶