I can’t cope

@Captain24 could you watch stuff on your phone? That's what I do, or my ipad. It makes it even less intrusive cos it's got such tiny speakers. I just got netflix on my phone tho so if you don't use streaming services it might be trickier! Surely there's a tv app by now, right?

Watch out, I literally can't sleep WITHOUT white noise now 😅

Pie n chips!! Classic. What's your sauce of choice?

I guess I better have another try and focus on that. @tyme. Sorry I got it wrong. I’ll give it another go.

I’ve got tv apps on my phone but I don’t know if they stream. @Jynx.

My meds help me sleep but they are the ones I’m coming off. I’ve managed to sleep all day for the last few days though. It’s mostly all I’ve done.

I have listened to white noise a fair bit. If that becomes a habit at least it’s a healthy one.

It was a potato pie. I don’t do sauce on pies. I can’t stand tomato sauce it makes me heave.

I went out and did it properly this time @tyme but I just cried. I can’t seem to get it right. I’m sorry I failed you

Hey @Captain24 , there are so many self-deprecating thoughts here - are they helpful?

There is no right or wrong. You are not a fail. Give yourself some breathing room. I wish I could be there with you and support you to ground yourself.

Sorry about that @tyme. I don’t mean to and no they aren’t helpful. But I can’t help it. I’ll take more care.

I wish you were here too. I could really do with some help right now. I’ve got nothing for 10 days.

Got anything else I can try. I’ve already had a bath today. I’ve tried box breathing and a lot of time in bed. I did manage to do quite a bit around the house though. But I don’t remember this morning. I even posted and don’t remember it.

Agree with @tyme - hey @Captain24 you got it 'right' because you tried. That counts more than anything!!

Oh whaaaat tomato sauce and I go way back. Fussy eater as a kid, checkin in - chicken nuggies and tomato sauce was my safe food ahaha. Potato pie sounds delicious if it's a sheppard's pie, but for some reason initially I just pictured... a pastry FULL of mashed potato 😱🤣

What's on for you over the weekend?

I’ll try anything so I try and be safe @Jynx. right now I don’t feel it.

We had certain meals on certain days. Meat and veg, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. Veg was potato and pumpkin mashed together. I use to heave at the thought of eating it. I wish I could have had nuggets and chips .

It was a meat pie with potato on top!

No bbq tomorrow night so that’s a relief but we are having lunch in the park. That’ll be easier though. Nothing for me to do and my space not being invaded.

@Captain24 wish I could scoop you up in a squishy hug of safety!

OMG you had to endure the pumpkin-tater mash? Hats off, that is rough lol. So when I was little I REFUSED to eat pumpkin, and one time mum mixed it into the mash potato to try to trick me into eating it - told me it had carrot in it or something. Soon as I realised I nearly heaved!! Alas, poor mum didn't realise she had just made it worse lol. Kent pumpkins and I still are NOT friends! But I actually do love a butternut squash hehe. Oven roasted only!

Ooh I learned a thing about this actually - if it was beef topped with mash, it's a cottage pie, but if it's lamb topped with mash it's a shepphard's pie!!

Oh thank GOODNESS!! You can keep your space sacred this weekend, much of the gladness 😊

I’m not safe @Jynx Ive taken my meds and think I should go to bed.

About 15 years of it! I still struggle with mashed potato but if you put both together on my plate I’d probably vomit. I can eat baked potatoes but not boiled. After she stopped mashing them she would boil them and the pumpkin. I have really bad food memories from childhood. When people talk about their mums cooking and how great it is, I have nothing except her curried sausages.

Yes.. my space is mine. I don’t like having to share it. I don’t like anyone coming around. I feel so uncomfortable and then it takes me ages to feel safe in here again.