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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29387 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Huh? Of course I don't want you to leave @Captain24 !

I guess sometimes, what we feel might be different to what it really is - depends on the colour of our lenses that we see the world through?

What are you going to do tomorrow?

BTW, I really want to try those turtle chips of my sister's, but she bought them so I can't just eat them.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yeah. I defs don’t have rose coloured glasses. @tyme

I really need to bath the dogs tomorrow and change my bed linen oh and have a shower and wash my hair. I haven’t washed it for 3 weeks.

How annoying… you have to wait until she opens them and shares.

Do you have plans for the next couple of days?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Arghh.. bath days.. That's hard. Hope Pix will be okay with the bath.

Yeah, I have to wait until she opens the chips. It's close to half a kilo of chips so it might be risky if she opens them because we will all eat them!

I'm not sure what I'm doing the next couple of days. I'm just taking one day at a time. There's too much happening in one day, let alone even starting to consider the next day.

I want to make these posters though. So it's for a group of people who I have been working with. There is disconnect with the group, so last week, I worked with them on goal setting as a group. Once we did that, we then worked on norms to help the group get to the goals they have set.

Hence I hope to make a visual of this so they can see and work toward a shared goal...

In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I am with you, that must feel very scary a lot of the time. 💛 @Captain24

I can hear that feeling connected and like you belong is really important right now... when was the last time you felt that way?

And what do you imagine would help you to feel more connected here?

PS: If I don't respond tonight, it's only because my shift has ended, but I will be back to chat more tomorrow. ☺️

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I know. It’s a lot of work with 2 of them and cause it’s so cold I have to make sure they are completely dry. Especially Jett as he get so cold so quick. @tyme

That’s a lot of chips!!!

Sometimes I wish I had a lot but I don’t have the motivation. I couldn’t cope with the overwhelm. I guess that’s where you need to go step by step? I know you thrive on being busy.

Goal setting as a team sounds good. Having something to reflect back to may help. I hope you can get the disconnect sorted.

In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 you won't be able to word it correctly because there is no 'correct ' in this. It's not like there's a single, perfect 'recovery focused' way for us to share a particular thought.

You could always just have a stab at it? You might surprise yourself!

I wanted to let you know I am away next week!! So I will have to catch up on how it all goes for you in a couple weeks. You'll do fine - cos we are on your side, trust!

Nighty night! 🫂

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’m scared all the time of doing something wrong @AuntGlow

Feeling like I’m belong is really important. I’ve been trying really hard and thought that I was starting to belong until that post. Here is the only space I have other than my psych. So feeling like I don’t belong hurts. But that is my own fault. I probably deserve it.

I guess I just have to put that mask on, not share what I’m feeling and just be like I’m ok

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Night @Jynx

Black and white thinking

I’m not around this weekend anyway as I’m on nightshift.

I hope you have a really good extended break.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

It sounds like little Captain needs lots of love and reassurance right now. Is there something you can do that might be soothing tonight?

I get why your brain might be thinking that the feedback you have received means you have done something wrong and therefore aren't welcome. But I absolutely want to reassure you that this is not the case! You haven't done anything wrong at all, we're just trying to make sure everyone is on the same page with our model of care. Many people are getting feedback, and no one is in the wrong. 🥰

But it is a big change and that would feel really vulnerable - I think I would feel the same as you. It's a lot to adjust to and you are allowed to feel how you are.

We don't want you to or expect you to mask at all @Captain24 💗

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’ve just climbed into bed @AuntGlow

Little Captain needs a lot of love and reassurance. There is lots of not being good enough, lots of being unloved and unwanted. That’s probably too much.

It’s hard. I take things so personally. I hate it but it’s just me. One of my many flaws.

I don’t do change and I actually thought I was doing it right but I guess not. I thought using my safety plan and trying things was recovery focussed but I guess I need to figure out what recovery focussed is. It feels like we have to be ok. I doesn’t feel like there is room for not being ok.

I have some deep dark stuff happening tonight and it’s not recovery so I’ve had to sit with them on my own. No outlet. That’s why I feel so alone. That’s why I feel like I don’t fit the mould anymore.

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