I can’t cope

OMG!!!! @Captain24 I posted the reply below and it never got sent! Sorry to keep you waiting!

Here's the post:

You are not too much for me. Sometimes, things get busy here or life gets tough and I may be more distant, but it doesn't mean you are too much. @Captain24 I always remember how 'tough' I was as a client. I was not easy to work with at all. As soon as I think about it, NO ONE is too much for me lol.

I don't think I could do this role if it wasn't for the dark, hard journey I've been through. It also means I have hope for you and many others. I certainly didn't deserve anything and I'm no one special - but things worked out when it was the perfect time.

With the assessments, I feel you are right in saying it will help with treatments. It's like an 'Ah ha!' moment and may answer why things they are the way they are. But like you said, it doesn't 'fix' the issue - it just guides you.

I don't know what I'm doing later either. I might just rest up. It's warm here - around 34 degrees.

It’s ok. I know you get busy and that there’s lots going on @tyme. I try not to be too much but sometimes I know that I am.

Im a pretty compliant patient, well maybe not so much with my dietitian, but I think k that’s the people pleaser in me.

Your experience is so helpful. It enables us to know we are not alone and that you do fully understand. My psych has cPTSD and had to deal with her own trauma so it’s like she gets it too. But she is just amazing!

Yeah it defs isn’t a fix. There is no easy way out of this. But like you said it’s the Ah Ha moment. It guides where to work from.

Im thinking of going back to bed. I’ve had enough of this afternoon.

It’s warm here too. It’s 34 as well.

A rest sounds good.

True @Captain24 . It's really good to know that all our experiences can make a difference in people's lives - any experience and not just MH related.

There's just so much to learn in life - that's what I feel. I think I'm someone who likes to continually be learning.. actually, come to think of 'learning', weren't you doing some course? I'm still in the middle of two lol. I haven't touched one in over a year - oops! The other one will hopefully be finished mid this year.

Ruby keeps coming to my house. I can hear her on the stairs. I think she wants me to take her for a walk - but it's just so hot out there. If I had more energy, I'd go and clean the pool so it's ready for when it's hot next time. I'd like to go in, but I'd better be careful with the shingles for now.

Oh, I'm hopping off now. I was supposed to hop of before but I wanted to chat to you.

Just know I'm thinking of you. And no, you are NOT to much for me 🙂

Hugs to you.

Hey @tyme

sorry I didn’t respond back yesterday arvo I wasn’t in the right headspace.

There is a lot to learn. The world is forever changing. I was doing a course but I had to pull out as it was way to much for me. Both mentally and intellectually. I have no idea how to post or refer to links and stuff. I’m not very computer literate. I felt really dumb and stupid.

Are you the only one that walks Ruby? Being hot out it would have hurt her little feet anyway. I always check the temp of the footpath and road before I walk in the heat. It’s cute that she comes to get you.

I hope you find some energy soon. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a pool but I’ve changed my mind about getting one. I’ll stick to the swim spa idea instead. It should be less work and I can use it all year round.

Yeah.. you don’t want to aggravate the shingles now they are healing and you don’t want to put the virus into the pool. Do you have a bath tub? Maybe a salt water bath will help with them but also cool you down?

Thanks for staying to chat. Sorry I didn’t respond. I feel really bad but I just couldn’t do it.

Hopefully one day I won’t be too much or I won’t feel like I’m too much. I guess it’s more a feeling but apparently ‘feelings aren’t facts’! I hear that a lot,

like every psych session except the last one that was an extra because I needed it. She was really gentle and kind and didn’t push too hard, just let me talk.

Looking forward to chatting when toir on.

How are you @Captain24 ? Thinking of you.

Hi @tyme

How are you going?

Are you okay? @Captain24

I'm as good as it can be 🙂 Still pain from the rash.

I’m getting there @tyme. It’s a real struggle though. I’m just taking it moment by moment.

A friend suggestion came up on Facebook today and it was the guy that sexually assaulted me.

Is there anything you can put on the rash to help?

What the?????! @Captain24

I'm so so so sorry to hear this. It must have brought up a lot of big feelings for you. Have you ever gone to the police about it? (No pressue if you don't want to talk about it)

I'm here for you.

With the rash, I don't know if you can get numbing cream or anything. The doc gave me stronger painkillers, but the burning sensation is still there.

He is my best friends cousin so we have mutual friends @tyme. Yeah mostly I have it buried away but this brought it all back up.

I never went to the police because it was my own fault.

I’ve got no suggestions sorry. I wish I could help with the pain though. My amazing pop had shingles on his spine and he was in hospital really sick.

Oh and to top it all off. Pix is really sick with bad diarrhoea, I’ve had to wash her bum 8 times so far today.

How is everything else going for you?