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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

29521 replies

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In response to: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

That's more do-able then @Captain24 in that you stare at something

I feel very vulnerable when therapists ask me to close my eyes, and I think that's where my last therapist didn't do such a great job.

You've only had 2 sessions with this psych? Pretty powerful that things could shift.

I think that's why, sometimes it's not that bad an idea to have a change in therapists. It's not easy, but the last thing anyone wants is to become stagnant with someone.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’m not ok with closing my eyes either @tyme. A psych in hospital made me close my eyes to help me find my inner child. It was really hard for me to trust her. But eventually it worked. It took a lot as I resisted.

I’ve had maybe 8 sessions with her but it feels like ages. We did 2 sessions on the rescripting. She is making time for me on Christmas Eve to have an appointment as it would have been too long between appointments.

The change was the best thing I did!!!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yes! This is the part we worked on in the past. I just read that article from CCI and yes, it's about approaching the memories and the pain as opposed to pushing it away @Captain24 And then rescript or 'change' the narrative.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

It’s been a massive shift @tyme.

I just read the article. It’s funny as I used the phrase ‘taken the sting out of it!’

The first session she did on it I cried all the way through. It hurt and then I could feel the hug from nan and pop and their love. I felt there spirits with me. The second session was a bit different it was like remembering the rescripting. Like a prompt in what we had done the week before.

It was really hard work and I was exhausted mentally afterwards. Plus since I was so tired it put my head in a dark place. But I woke up so different.

I don’t think I’m capable of rescripting on my own but one day I will be.

I see in the article about talking to your inner child and that’s what the other psych in hospital had me doing. Telling my 8 year old self that I was lovable I was good enough, I was worth it. She was shocked at what I had to say. So she kinda did a version of rescripting but not to the same level.

I hope it helps you understand incase others have done it or doing it in the future. I don’t think it’s for everybody and im not sure every psych could do it.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Yes, hearing your experiences makes it so much more real @Captain24 I can certainly relate.

I had an external supervision session today and we spoke about the inner child and how people need to work with their inner child in order to move on. And yes, the person needs to do. No one else can do it for them.

And i think this is the hard part. Sometimes, it's safer to sit in what is uncomfortable than having to expose a vulnerable self.

Thank you so much for sharing about rescripting. Maybe in the future, we can set up a rescripting thread so we can direct others to it too. Just like the reframing thread.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I’m glad I’ve helped. I’m happy to talk about it anytime with anyone @tyme. It has been a really positive experience.

I see now how important the inner child is. I get the importance of working with them. I have also realised that you need a great support but I’m the only one that can help myself.

I’ve been trying to do different things. Like I had a bath after my appointment and then I sat in my front room and started reading a book.

Id be up for sharing if you started a thread but im not sure how many people have experienced it. I’d never heard of it before.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

Maybe, after a few more sessions, then we start the thread @Captain24 ?

Or do you want to have it started so you can write about your experiences as you go?

What do you think will be more helpful for yourself and the community?

BTW, if I start it, I won't be able to do it until late tomorrow. I've got another presentation tomorrow lol...

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

My next session will be on my brother coming. @tyme. She actually said that I don’t talk about him very often. My response was he isn’t worth talking about. Maybe there is a way to help before he gets here.

Maybe start it after the next session just so I can see how it goes.

Have you got the presentation ready this time?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Re: I can’t cope

I hope you can have the session before your bro comes - if he comes @Captain24

As for the presentation, it's similar to last times, so it's okay lol.

I'll see you later in the evening tomorrow.

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