I can’t cope

Well the first step in making change is recognising where we need it, so you've taken the first step already @Captain24

What's on for after work today?

I don’t know how to make a change other than be better than I am @Ru-bee. I’m a useless truckie and after 7 yrs that’s all I’ll ever be. Today was a training day and I was around 45 people, so being around others is obviously a trigger.

I’ve picked up the dogs and I’m home. I don’t know what to do now.

It feels like a storm is coming so I hope it does. It’ll match my mood. If it does I could stand in the rain maybe

I certainly wouldn't think of truckies or as you as being useless @Captain24. But I hear you might be feeling a bit stuck in that role?

How are the dogs doing? I haven't asked about them in a while. How do they go in storms? I know some dogs really hate them

I’m just feeling like a failure @Ru-bee. Hopefully my psych is right and it’s just that I have so much noise in my head and that’s why I failed all last weekend.

They are both good, Pix is still sweet as ever and Jett is still an arsehole. I was asleep the other night and I must have rolled towards him as he bit my back! Little shit!

Jetts fine with storms, Pix use to be really bad but now that I listen to thunderstorms to go to sleep she is a lot better. The first night I put on a thunderstorm she freaked out so I had to calm her. It took a few days to realise she was in my bed and safe.

The temperature has just dropped 10 degrees in about half an hour. It’s gone from 30 to 20. It was nice and warm.

Im thinking I might go and have a really hot shower and put my pj’s on and see if that helps lift my mood any. I need the distraction. I’m in a lot of pain right now and it keeps growing.

It just takes so much more energy and concentration to do anything with that noise going on in your mind @Captain24 I truly think anyone would struggle to get through work with all of that going on.

Oh what a naughty boy! That would've been a pretty unpleasant way to be woken up!

I think when you have 2 animals one has to be the asshole. Pix sounds like my sweet cat Momo who is an angel but is a bit nervous, and Jett sounds like my Ollie who struggles with naughtiness (but I believe he is a good cat deep in his naughty heart)

Hot shower and PJs with a storm coming in sounds so cosy. I hope it brings you some comfort, maybe you could even try to keep leaning into those cosy feels tonight and pop on a movie or do a nice comforting activity?

He’s a shocker @Ru-bee. He is so arrogant and certainly has no self-esteem issues! But yes, the is a beautiful boy somewhere in there. I wouldn’t change him for the world. We gotta have an arsehole to balance out the sweetness! Pix is good at the whole ‘side eye’ thing. Jett cops it a lot.

I just tried doing Lego but it’s small and fiddly and I’m not coping with it. I only have 4 bags left until it’s finished. But they could take me a while.

I need to watch catch-up tv so I might do that. I’m not into it though. It’s really hard to find anything right now. I’m just going through the motions.

Oh the side eye! My sweet cat does that too! It's funny how expressive pets can be @Captain24

Maybe it'd be good to have a few backup activities, so if you're really not gelling with one, you can hop to the next one until it's time to rest for the night?

I'm about to head off @Captain24 but I hope that your night is restful and cosy

Sorry I missed you @Ru-bee.

All my other stuff needs to be set up and it all takes time to do. I don’t have time now until I’m finished my work block.

I’m feeling really distressed.

@Captain24 hey hun, sorry you're feeling the frazzle this eve!! You joining us for PGC?