I can’t cope

Really @Captain24 ? As if I hate anyone...

I always remind myself that I'm no better than anyone else. I have no right to hate anyone.

So no, I don't hate you. Don't know which part of your brain told you that. I think it's fibbing.

Btw, is Keiko the largest of the three?

I deserve to be hated @tyme Im horrible. So it’s ok if you do.

Yeah Keiko is way bigger than mine.

Dad took my small bag over to hospital so now I don’t have it to take. I need to find another one.

Dad’s not having surgery until tomorrow night or Sunday morning. I’m selfish and going away when they need me.

Mum rang my brother, left a voice message, sent 3 texts. He hasn’t got back to mum. He is an arrogant, selfish a-hole.

I'm curious as to why your mum contacted him, knowing he most likely wouldn't respond? @Captain24

Then again, he's family

hmm I think having tough days and experiencing overwhelm and fear are pretty human emotions @Captain24, i don't think feeling and expressing emotions makes someone hate-able. you deserve a space to express yourself, we all do, don't you think?

She just thought he should know. @tyme. Dad’s siblings all know and they may run into my brother in the street and say something. Dad has a sister where my brother lives and dad’s brother is up there visiting their son.

It gets me worked up knowing what he is like and that he just doesn’t care about us. I try really hard to be different to him. I hope I’m different.

It’s just really hard right now to see that I’m not a horribly, worthless, useless person that is unlikeable @rav3n

I’m not ok. I feel hollow and empty. It’s just all come over me. Just like a wave. I feel sick. I feel alone

I’m done

The inevitable crash after mania has hit. It has hit hard. The longer the mania the worse that crash. Wish I had have picked up on it sooner.

Now how to get through it safely.