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I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor27 May 2024, 2:47 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’m tired. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of jumping through hoops. I’m tired of trying to please everyone. I’m just tired.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor27 May 2024, 3:52 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 💕💕

Take some time for yourself hon. Sometimes living is tiring.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

JynxModerator27 May 2024, 4:03 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 just wanna share a quote that helped me once upon a time -

"You ever love someone so much that you'd do anything for them? Well, make that person yourself, an do whatever the heck you want!"

I know it's not always easy to love oneself, but if pleasing everyone else first is draining everything you have, it's simply not going to be sustainable. Is there one nice thing you can do for yourself this afternoon?

Hugs my friend, and some for you too @Snowie

🫂🫂

💖💜💙💚💛❤️

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor27 May 2024, 4:23 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’ve done a lot of Lego. I finished one and have started on another.

Im watching neighbours and crying. I want to go to sleep but I have to trick mum into thinking I’m going to work a 5:30.

Then I have a thing on at 7 that scares me a little. Raises my anxiety.

Then I have to leave the house at 9:45 and come back at 10:30 so that my parents drop the dogs off. I can’t be home because the dogs just know and come running down to my room.

I have to do the whole deceit thing tomorrow too.

My parents are so nosy that they will now if the Lego I’m doing has changed. So I have to hide that too.

Im having chest pain with the stress of it all. If I could just be honest about my MH, work stuff and with people who want me to do things.

@Jynx @Snowie

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor27 May 2024, 4:32 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Can you just concentrate on one thing at a time @Captain24 Just getting through the next thing and cast everything else aside.

Looking too far ahead can cause a lot of anxiety.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor27 May 2024, 4:36 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

It’s like one folds into another. @Snowie. I’m totally overwhelmed right now.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

PizzaMondoSenior Contributor27 May 2024, 4:41 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I am seconding @Snowie - one thing at a time, and I know that probably looks and feels impossible right now @Captain24 - but it's just going to make us want to scrunch up into a ball and roll away if we let the other ten million things we 'have' to do or are thinking about overwhelm us.

Let's take a deep breath together, INHALEEEEEE, EXHALLLEEEEE.

What is first - I feel like the deceit is something that would be tough to keep up.

I'm wondering what might be helpful for you right now that will allow you to ground yourself. Gather thoughts and feelings ~

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor27 May 2024, 4:56 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I’m just doing more Lego @PizzaMondo. It’s only a little one so I should be able to hide it easy enough. I did breathe with you..

Everything had a sequence.. so I get it.. focus on each one as it comes.

Being so deceitful makes me feel sick. I’m not that person it’s just what dealing with my parents makes me do. So I don't have to deal with the nastiness.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

JynxModerator27 May 2024, 5:18 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 what a conundrum, to be pulled in two different directions like that - choosing between truth and its complications, or a lie that doesn't align with your values. I'm sorry you have to sit in that space, that's hard. One thing at a time, as others said, is the way to go. Here with you darlin 💜

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

PizzaMondoSenior Contributor27 May 2024, 5:33 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I like that this lego set is small so it's easier to hide, and I love that it allows you to ground yourself. Lego is fantastic like that ~ @Captain24

Okay, I am glad you took a breath there. Me too, let me recognise what I have to do next before I sign off for the day soon..

I hear you - it's better to just keep those things from them than having to deal with the wrath from their end. I absolutely get this, and I know that some of us have to do this in order to protect ourselves... but it doesn't make it any easier. Have you found a way to appear to be away for the next few hours, and would it be useful to take a few pieces of lego with you (for fidget purposes, like holding it to feel the ridges, etc.. just an idea if this is something that is helpful. I always have rings on so that's useful for me to stay grounded) to where you need to go at 7 (like you mentioned?)

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