ChristheartSenior Contributor
Struggling
Hi guys
I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't had anything to say. I don't know how to express myself. My thoughts are rushed, constant, chaotic. I have intrusive thoughts that disturb me.
I feel no joy. Every moment it feels like there is an enormous weight pressing on me, or like a cloud of heaviness around me. I don't enjoy things i used to enjoy, like baking, history, exercise, my work. I feel heaviness and numbness, that's all. I hardly talk, I never know what to say, so my relationships and struggling.
I have sent my referral to the psychiatrist today. I think they said he has space in October? That is a long time to wait 😔
I'm also unsure if I'm going to be able to finish my diploma which stresses me out, because I don't want to fail. A lady from the school wanted to call me but I feel too anxious to talk to her.
I promised my dad I would go to the gym with him this afternoon. I'm going to go through with that because I know it is a good self care thing.
I have been experiencing SI a lot, and calling out for God to end my misery.
I feel like that was a rambled, jumbled mess... but anyway 😔
X