Wanting to be alone but feeling lonely?

I hear you @Razza. It took me a long time to change that way of thinking. I used to feel pathologically lonely, yet I didn't do well in company and preferred to be alone too. It's a catch-22 isn't it?

Hi @Razza

I have felt like that after long periods of stress and trauma. Just wanted peace which is nice for awhile then I would want company. It's natural as we need others to converse and share with to keep as grounded.

Rejecting invitations sounds like perhaps there may be trust issues? I hope you find your balance soon.

It's not so much the trust issues! It's just being around people in that environment that don't know you and start asking questions about your life! Things start hitting home when questions about your life get asked! It's what I try to avoid!

I can understand that - certain topics of my life can trigger me. I am very good at diverting the questions and changing the subject by asking other's questions about themselves or what they are interested in which they seem more than happy to talk about and forget my personal life. I particularly enjoy hobby groups as a social outlet where there is more activity and the subject is usually about the interest and not on personal questions.

In a way I find this site like a mirror to my very own soul. It fascinates me, until I notice how many reflections there are, then it makes me sad. Then fear starts creeping in, I know what's in my soul, I don't want to see it. But I can't look away, I've never heard so many people be honest about thier feelings, until I came here. I am weak, my help is very limited, it's just that I think I can understand a little - that's all I have.

I am desperately lonely, every year it gets worse. Although I think to myself, 'I'm used to it', I never will be - it's not natural. I even had a young Doctor say to me once, 'some people are better off alone' - I don't think that Doctor had ever truely been alone in their life!

Hello @Razza

i can totaly get what your saying my friend , My Hubby has depression and anxiety and he know totally what you mean

How are you today xx

Hello @Former-Member, @Stu, @Liverpool4life, @Former-Member, @Razza

There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. It is possible to feel lonely in a crowd or in a group of friends. Loneliness is something which comes from within, and overwhelms us when we are down or not coping. Being alone is altogether different. You can go camping with your dog. You can go to an exhibition in a gallery. You can go for a long walk by yourself and just examine your own thoughts. It is important to be able to extract meaning from the things around you, so that when you are alone you can call on your experiences and not feel lonely. What sort of things work for you? Listening to music is one, doing some drawing or painting is another - you need to try to immerse yourself in things which give you passion so that you can actually enjoy your own company.

Look at the glories of nature all around you, the petals of a flower or the flow of a creek. You can incorporate all these things within you so that you never need to feel onely, you have your own secret world.

When you are feeling better I have no doubt that the feelings of aloneless will leave you alone. Do what you can in the meantime to fill your inner life and find some companionship there. It does help, I have done it myself, and have managed to drag myself out of total misery to being back in the world again. I wish you good luck,

Ellu