Really struggling

Hi @Struggling2 Welcome to the forums. This sounds similar to my anxiety. I'm wondering what supports you have? Do you have a psychologist?

Just connecting you to the SANE counsellors here as well, as you might find it helpful to chat to someone over the phone.

I hope you find some support here 🌸

Hi @Struggling2

Welcome to the forums! This sounds like my anxiety too. It's just awful. I catrastrophise and ruminate. I find I'm worse when home alone. I try to put on calming music, do some deep breathing. But that often doesn't work. I find it helps to go for a drive or walk to the shops, beach, park etc. I listen to a podcast as having something informative in my ears seems to override my awful thoughts. Talking on the phone to one of the Sane counsellors, as @Paperdaisy , might be a good idea if you are struggling.

Keep reaching out,

hanami 💮

Hi @Paperdaisy ,

Thank you for your reply, it is nice to hear from someone who knows how I’m feeling.

I currently don’t have a psychologist, I’m seeing my Dr tomorrow and will talk to him about seeing someone.

Thank you also for the connection.

Hi @hanami,

Thank you for your reply. I find being on my own it’s worse too. At the moment it’s really bad no matter what I do, as I have just found out information that has devastated me, to do with my husband and my ex boss. (Who traumatised me).
I haven’t tried pod casts, so that would certainly be an option.

That's a really good first step @Struggling2 let us know how you go 😊

Exercise is another thing that helps me and I don't know your situation so I apologise if that's not something you're able to do. I have found that I've needed that professional support as well. I hope it works out for you.

Hey there @Struggling2, I'm going to jump in here and join the rumination/catastrophising club 😊 It feels like I might be an original card carrying member as I struggled with it for 25 years before finding any kind of relief. I tried CBT till every single cow came home, a few different meds and a bunch of other stuff, and nothing really worked. And then, a few things happened and I don't struggle quite so much anymore. I think for me the following combo helped to alleviate the constant rumination:

• Mindfulness meditation – I know this practice isn't for everyone, and I know it gets used almost as a throwaway line by some therapists, but for me it created the opportunity to build the practice of acceptance into my mind space. Nothing lasts, nothing, and that includes the almighty discomfort of anxiety. Watching my thoughts pass without attaching to them was the first gamechanger.
  
  
• A brilliant therapist – I tried so many, like SO many, and it wasn't until I found my last therapist that I started to heal. Doing the real work is hard, living with anxiety is harder. So I threw myself into psychotherapy and now there are many moments where all I hear are the birds in the trees and not the constant worry in my head.
  
  
• A supportive partner/friends – if the people around you are fuelling the anxiety then you can't possibly find the space to find peace within yourself.
  
  
• A passion – whether that's something you enjoy doing as a hobby, a goal or a project at work, the key here is to love it that much that you're totally engrossed in the activity that brings you joy. It's hard to feel anxious when you're occupied with something that makes you happy (not impossible, granted, but difficult).
  
  
• Adopting a "care less" approach: for me I realised that I cared an awful lot about what other people thought. When I stopped to think about how I was feeling rather than what someone else may be thinking I felt more in tune with my own needs rather than everybody else's.
  
  
• Trust in myself: living with constant rumination and worry is really hard. Knowing that I could do tough things made me feel more resilient.

I'll leave it there @Struggling2 but I hope some of the above is helpful and if you ever want to chat just add an @ before my username, or any other members names 😊

Rhye ☘️
Peer Support Worker

Hi @Former-Member,

Thank you for your reply, and for your suggestions. They all sound good, and worth looking into.

@Struggling2

Hi struggling2

I have a very similar problem. I obsess, ruminate and catastrophise over my illness.

I'm Christian so I remind myself of all the promises of God that are very comforting, that I am loved and chosen - to try to change where my mind is going.

My issue is forgetfulness and social anxiety, so I obsess over that. It's so hard to manage. The best thing I have tried lately is focusing on a statement like a positive affirmation and repeating it in my head, to try and cut off the obsessive rumination. I also try to treat myself kindly and not give in to put down thoughts that are negative about myself.

Whatever your anxieties are about, try to remind yourself that you are loved and you are not unworthy or worthless. Take every day one day at a time. Or even every hour, or every minute. It is so hard but sometimes it's the reality of living with a mental illness.

Also, I try to saviour any 'ok'feeling moments I have. Even just a few minutes where I'm not feeling terribly ill or disturbed, I celebrate that.

Love to you , friend

I pray you find comfort

X

Hi @Christheart,

Thank you for your reply and kind words.

You are absolutely right, I tend to forget that I am loved. I need to be kinder to myself also, and stop blaming myself. It is difficult at times.

Thank you again. 💐