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Is this a different kind of loneliness?

IsAnybodyThereSenior Contributor13 May 2022, 10:11 pm AEST

Is this a different kind of loneliness?

I stayed at home with my parents for over 30 years. During that time and most of my life I never felt a sense of loneliness. I hope this doesn't come across as arrogance, but during that time I never felt really alone. I was always pretty comfortable in the presence of my own company.

Eventually I started doing some things. Finally moved out; got a few friends, ( all female; can't relate to males ) then a girl who is 13 years my junior moved into the flat next door. I kept my door shut to her for 6 months. I found her to be rude, intrusive, irresponsible etc, etc.

Eventually I weakened, gave her a foot massage and 1 thing lead to another, as they often do. I have never had a girl throw herself at me like she did. She was all over me like a rash. And the female friends I had dropped away, as you would expect. Well we got married and have a daughter and now I have never been so lonely in my life. I am suffering from major depression. My doctor is still working on finding the best medication for me.

So I live with my wife and 20 year old daughter and am SOOOOO lonely. My wife who threw herself at me, now only does so to launch another attack.

So it is totally possible to be living with others and yet feel completely alone. Not sure how much more I can take.

IsAnybodyThere.

3 replies

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In response to: Is this a different kind of loneliness?

NatureLoverSenior Contributor14 May 2022, 7:44 am AEST

Re: Is this a different kind of loneliness?

Sorry to hear about your intense loneliness, @IsAnybodyThere 😞

I'm wondering how you feel about volunteering? It certainly helped me to meet new people and make friends with people and has really eased my loneliness. It might also get you out of the house and away from your wife? Just a thought.

In response to: Is this a different kind of loneliness?

BPDSurvivorSenior Contributor14 May 2022, 11:21 am AEST

Re: Is this a different kind of loneliness?

I’m so sorry to hear @IsAnybodyThere .

What you have said does resonate with me. I used to be surrounded by people but felt absolutely lonely.

Now that I live in my own, I may be alone, but I don’t feel lonely at all! If anything, I can’t wait to get some ‘me’ time.

Hence I’ve deduced that satisfaction and connection starts from within. It can be affected by what is harkening in the environment, but definitely does not rely on it.

Depression does play a part. I housed myself in my own room for years because of my depression. I hope you’ll be able to find space and place to help you resurface from depression.

There’s life waiting for you. Just hold on.

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Is this a different kind of loneliness?

BowSenior Contributor14 May 2022, 4:32 pm AEST

Re: Is this a different kind of loneliness?

I don’t have too much to add @IsAnybodyThere but I get that loneliness that you speak of. It’s a whole other level of loneliness when you are constantly surrounded by people yet feel the deepest loneliness ever.
Hope things get better for you

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