How to move forward?

Hi there @whyisit,

Welcome to the Forums and congrats on your first post! Caring for a family member with mental health concerns can be a struggle in it's own right so it's wonderful that you've been able to reach out as you have today.

I'm not sure if you've had a chance to take a tour around the Forums, but we also have a Family, Friends and Carers forum, as the name suggests it's a great place for getting support in caring for a loved one.

If you ever need a moderator for assistance you can tag them like this @moderator and you can also reach out to one of our online peer support workers as well @tyme @hanami @Paperdaisy @Former-Member.

The SANE forums are also supported by our fantastic Community Guides, and I'll tag some of these folk here:
@Anastasia @AussieRecharger @Faith-and-Hope @HenryX @jem80 @Judi9877 @NatureLover @outlander @Shaz51 @Snowie @Hams @wellwellwellnez @Aniela @CrazyChick @maddison @pinklollipop15 @Eve7

All the best
Rhye

Not sure that there are any quick solutions @whyisit

I believe the anger is a coping mechanism for an underlying problem. But if she is unwilling to seek help, then you need to focus on you.

Self-care and understanding that, while you need to own your problems and contribution, you can't blame yourself.

You can only help her from a good place. You can't be reactive.

Thanks @Former-Member I will browse through the family, friends and Carers forum.

Looking forward to hear back from this great community, I am very glad that I have found you all.

Thanks @Carlo for your supporting words. I can't promise that I will never react but I can say that I am getting better. I do look after myself and try to help my son but he is a teenager now. At times it is challenging to manage the disagreement between the mother and son specially when I feel that my wife / his mother is inappropriately behaving and reacting to the situation. I will keep trying my best and keep educating my son. Thanks

Hi @whyisit ,

With many personality disorders, I think setting clear boundaries is probably the safest thing to do. It is difficult to tell a person they may have a problem if they clearly don’t see there’s an issue.

Perhaps have a think about boundaries to keep you e.g what will you do when she displays anger/rage? What would your son like to see happen when particular situations arise?

Some of these are very deep questions and may not have a direct black/white answer. But until your wife sees otherwise, you can only make sure you and your son have the support you need. If that means speaking to a counsellor etc, then go for it.

Self-care is crucial.

tyme

I am not offering medical advice and take this with a grain of salt, but I've found this woman interesting on that topic.

https://www.youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani

Also maybe your partner is not a narcissist but is neuro-atypical or different in another way? Only she knows her own mind.