Cold feet on DBT - how to cope with being triggered?

Hey,

Just trying to give A suggestion but definitely not an expert!
I don’t know much about DBT or the class but is there anyway you could maybe talk to the teacher about your previous experiences and concerned before the lesson. I mean I’d hope considered i’m assuming they’re a medical professional they would be understanding (although I know this isn’t always the case and I completely understand not liking the idea of approaching someone you don’t know)

just thought maybe talking to the person running the class beforehand could give you some kind of clarity, and maybe make you feel a bit more comfortable. You could also maybe ask if it’s okay if you leave the room if you do feel triggered by something and even if they say no the answer is always yes you %100 can leave if you feel uncomfortable.

don’t know if this helps but I wish you luck and I hope it all works out

@Gwynn I'm really sorry to hear of that experience you had one-on-one, that is terrible!!

I think @AnonymousC 's suggestion is great 🙂

I wonder if you could even take it one step further and when you introduce yourself to the group, say briefly what happened to you and that you may get triggered...that way the whole group will be supporting you and understanding your possible reactions?

Good luck...

Thank you @AnonymousC , @NatureLover and @Bow . 🙂 I feel a lot better having got it off my chest and knowing that you guys are supporting me. Luckily, the teacher of the DBT class is my primary clinician, so she does know about my past experience with unnecessarily-religious DBT. It might mean that she might have to balance 'the needs of the many vs the needs of the one' in the class, but I like your suggestion about asking if I can walk out to settle myself - although I'm not sure it'd work because I suspect it's the terminology and teachings of DBT that I would find more triggering than the stories of the other participants! I'll probably have to breathe through it or find out about some excellent distress tolerance skills.

As for sharing what's happened to me, I've been told that disclosing stuff in the group environment is limited to purposefully sharing, with minimal mention of emotional impacts and triggering language, to protect the other participants. I'm still not quite sure how to do that with this story, but I guess it's important. I guess I could say 'I've tried DBT before, but the therapist wanted me to change my religion and hyperfocused on that rather than helping me work towards having a life worth living. He used the terms of DBT as tools to try to keep me in line, so I might get triggered by some of the teachings, particularly distress tolerance.' How does that sound?

Hey @Gwynn ,

You've certainly raised some very important questions there regarding DBT and religious beliefs.

Personally, religious beliefs often form part of your values. Taking these away seems denying you of your values. For me, when I go through therapy, I take what benefits, and I leave what doesn't. I am mindful of elements that are 'against' my beliefs and hence I go into therapy with an open mind, but I practice what aligns with my values, and left out the things which do not align.

It's not about absolutely leaving one and going to another. Perhaps it is about finding a balance?

As for fearing fear. Perhaps it's okay to let yourself feel fear?

I used to let fear stop me from doing many things. However, when I learnt to accept that it's okay to be afraid, the fear began to cease. This takes time.

I hope you will be able to embrace what you learn in DBT. It is not necessarily easy, or a fun ride, but approaching it with an open mind will help. And then, even years down the track, you need to continue practising the skills. A few weeks of DBT doesn't mean you are set for life. I still practise skills each day, knowing that when I really need it, I will be 'good' at it.

Hopes this garble makes some sort of sense to you @Gwynn .

Take care,

tyme

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@tyme wrote:

Hey @Gwynn ,

You've certainly raised some very important questions there regarding DBT and religious beliefs.

Personally, religious beliefs often form part of your values. Taking these away seems denying you of your values. For me, when I go through therapy, I take what benefits, and I leave what doesn't. I am mindful of elements that are 'against' my beliefs and hence I go into therapy with an open mind, but I practice what aligns with my values, and left out the things which do not align.

It's not about absolutely leaving one and going to another. Perhaps it is about finding a balance?

As for fearing fear. Perhaps it's okay to let yourself feel fear?

I used to let fear stop me from doing many things. However, when I learnt to accept that it's okay to be afraid, the fear began to cease. This takes time.

I hope you will be able to embrace what you learn in DBT. It is not necessarily easy, or a fun ride, but approaching it with an open mind will help. And then, even years down the track, you need to continue practising the skills. A few weeks of DBT doesn't mean you are set for life. I still practise skills each day, knowing that when I really need it, I will be 'good' at it.

Hopes this garble makes some sort of sense to you @Gwynn .

Take care,

tyme

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Thanks, @tyme . I'm not sure if you're familiar with DBT, though? DBT has triage built into it - therapists are meant to focus on self harm and other life threatening issues first and foremost, and once those are stopped, the focus moves on to 'therapy-interfering behaviour', like not doing your homework for DBT, arguing with the therapist, asking for a transfer to another therapist, constantly showing up late, etc. Only once therapy-interfering behaviour has stopped are you allowed to move on to skill development, improving your quality of life, working out what would make your life more meaningful.

I was not permitted to move on from having my religious beliefs being treated as insane and stupid and focus on the useful stuff, because the therapist literally stopped all useful stuff to focus on my religious beliefs being insane and stupid. For close to eight months. Normally, I'm able to connect with people who disagree with my religious beliefs on another level and find out shared goals and values and work towards them, but for him, the correct beliefs about religion were vital to DBT, so there was no margin for 'error'.

Thanks for saying it's ok to feel fear.

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@Gwynn wrote:

I guess I could say 'I've tried DBT before, but the therapist wanted me to change my religion and hyperfocused on that rather than helping me work towards having a life worth living. He used the terms of DBT as tools to try to keep me in line, so I might get triggered by some of the teachings, particularly distress tolerance.' How does that sound?

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@Gwynn this sounds excellent to me 🙂

Hi @Gwynn ,

I have been through parts of DBT. After reading your initial post, seeing that your are beginning a SHORT DBT course, I assumed they would focus on the skills element.

DBT in its entirety goes for about 18months to 2 years of both individual and group therapy on a weekly basis. 'Short' DBT courses generally run for 6-12 weeks which means they can only take out the bare minimum.

Whatever it is, good luck with the DBT course. I think it will be a great opportunity. But yes, it means tackling some of the beasts you may not be comfortable with.

I look forward to hearing how you go with it.

Take care,

tyme