How do you avoid taking everything personally? And WHY should you?

Hi @florencefifty I think it's ok to be sensitive, hurt, offended and sad, and therr are ways to express these feelings

Rude ppl hurt me too, callous ppl sometimes take so little care with other ppls feelings,

U are not alone, and Ur feelings shouldn't be pushed aside I'm sorry u were made to feel like they didn't matter x

@florencefifty Scares people, annoys people and friendly too. Gee!

Hey there @florencefifty,

I'm sorry to hear this happened with your colleagues, it sounds like it left you feeling confused and hurt 💛

Stopping by to add another perspective to your question: how do you avoid taking everything personally?

I don't. If I intentionally try to avoid thinking or feeling something, it's almost inevitable that I'll think or feel it two-fold! I know thoughts and feelings are different, but for me thoughts often lead to feelings.

What I do instead is practice kindness towards myself, and I'll do that by allowing the feelings to be present (usually in the company of only myself) and I respond to my feelings with kindness and empathy. Kindness and empathy were in short supply as I was growing up, so now I model it to and for myself. So whenever I perceive hurt it's me that is there to self-soothe, and I no longer feel a deep need to rely on others to do the "right" thing or behave in a certain way (within reason).

Hope this helps.

Rhye ☘️

dear florencefifty

from my experience...

for a long time i never felt i fitted in, whether that be school, family, friends and i just put it down to I'm not most peoples cuppa tea...but what was wrong with me that i found connection so difficult and took it so personally?

it caused a lot of self questioning, self doubt, lonliness and anxiety around others and probably some level of paranoia

after years of what felt excruciating I had a good look at myself

i listed my qualities like kindness, compassion, love for all and had a realisation that i was actually a pretty cool human, i literally felt connected and in love with myself and once i truly felt that, i really didn't care what others thought of me

i don't mean this in a snobby way, not at all, it was empowering and i realised i only needed my approval

everyone is living their own lives

i realised I'd given my 'power' away to others and once i took it back my confidence increased to such a level that had i had an encounter like with your tea and 'the look' i would approach it in a completely different way

like you, i would have had a similar reaction but not anymore

i would now approach that situation like this

oh they stopped talking when i approached,

maybe they were in a private or personal conversation and you, or Anybody, approaching may have broken their concentration, and let's say they were being 'bitchy'...i then apply compassion toward them because anyone needing to put others down etc obviously needs some extra tlc

sorry a bit long winded

reality is most people are so caught up in their own stuff they aren't that interested in what you or i are doing

depending on our own state of mind is how we interpret things and that is fully in your power

I'd reccomend looking into Byron Katie (YouTube clips) and how she encourages people to question their thoughts and beliefs

take care

don't be too hard on yourself

you are a beautiful soul

let it shine

Nicely said @JoCee. I have recently asked myself if any of us feel that we truly fit in, and if so, are we being our true selves?

You're right, what we – who know ourselves best –think of ourselves is more important.

Cheers.

Hi @JoCee @florencefifty @Former-Member @EternalFlower @Historylover

I love what you have written @JoCee I can resonate so much with this and have had that shift in perspective too. Taking myself out of my head and looking at the situation from an outside perspective (like I'm just someone watching) is usually a good way to get a broader perspective - for example as you said with the situation to have compassion with yourself and the other people - because so much of the time its not about you - its just about the person or people involved

Hope that helps @florencefifty .