LostAngelSenior Contributor
Violence from Ex Partner/Recovery and the Journey of Having to Start Over Again
hello Everyone its Lost Angel, where do I Begin? I've known a man or thought I knew him for about a year, we met online ,everything was casual and fun at first, over time I let down my guard ,my Boundaries, we had a lot of good times and equally a lot of bad times, situation was confusing to say the least, there was manipulation on his part as well as gas lighting, I dont like to use the word victim as I tend to blame myself for a lot by habit, I met him when I was in the thick of depression Diagnosis, to cut a long story short we began seeing more and more of each other ,he moved into my house in recent months as he was virtually homeless ,I was trying to help him although I knew I was taking a huge risk,in the month he spent staying with me at first things where good except for when we argued ect , we had alot of nice times together,fun times,laughter,watching movies ect but then gradually that unravelled and faded into something I wasnt at all prepared for ,we had the usual issues that most couples have at first except we where not a couple it was a non comitted situation,to get to the point things escalated first with verbal critisism and it didnt help matters that we both felt external as well as internal preasure from the situation as well,he frquently accused me of lieing to him,theres alot more but yeah at times I felt he cared but other times there was a nasty side,which became more noticaeable as time went on,things went from bad to worse to the point there ended up being two violent incidents ,I escaped and reported to the police,and sheltered for safety with family ,now hes been remanded in custody and I had had to go through,medical exams and police statement the next thing will be court I guess whats on my mind is should I drop the charges cause crazily enough I fell in love with him or do I just tell all ,in the hopes that nonone judges or thinks that Im the one lieing and try to have some form of closure,the heart says one thing and my mind says another