Need for Change

Hey there @Manifesting,

Big welcome to the forums and huge congrats on your first post – it takes courage to share your story. It sounds like you've trodden the boards of depression for quite some time now, and whilst you've ticked the obligatory boxes i.e. medication, CBT, psychiatrist, some days it feels like a struggle and the symptoms run the show more than you'd like – does that sounds right?

Similar to you, I've been living with the symptoms of depression off and on for more than 20 years. Also like you, I've ticked the CBT, psychiatrist and medication boxes. Some of these worked better than others at different times, but at the moment (and increasingly over the past 2-3 years), the symptoms don't control my life. How did I get here? I think there were a number of factors that contributed, but perhaps finding the right therapist who provided the right kind of therapy (there are many kinds) was the key to living a life mostly free from the black dog tagging along.

I'm wondering whether you have any professional support at the moment?

I'm going to tag some of our community guides and members here who may be able to relate to elements of your story:
@CrazyChick @Snowie @Eve7 @Aniela @Boo13 @CrazyChick @Eve7 @maddison @pinklollipop15 @wellwellwellnez , @Zoe7 , @ShiningStar , @Faith-and-Hope, @outlander , @Snowie , @Judi9877 , @jem80 , @bipolarbunny , @HenryX , @Fizz , @AussieRecharger @Rosie93

Hope you go gently and that you find the forums a safe place to land.

Rhye ☘️
Peer Support Worker, Forums

Hi @Manifesting and welcome to the sane forums.

Well done on writing your first post, it can be daunting at times.

Like you I suffer from depression and anxiety too and am on a combination of meds.

Living day to day is sometimes the only way we can get through. You show much courage to get up everyday and go to work. Yes some days are overwhelming but all we can do is try and put one step in front of the other and continue on.

I hope you find the forums as supportive as I do. We have lots of social spaces too that can be a good distraction at times.

Sending lots of good vibes your way 😊

Hi @Manifesting

i am also a new member in my 50s, I feel much like you described & have been on medications since I was 25. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about 3 years ago. I completed dialectical behaviour therapy which helped me understand my moods and emotions a little better. I still have depression & anxiety and struggle some days, but I have learned some coping skills.

@Ellie4 , it certainly takes time. I acknowledge your resilience. Looking to hear how you go.

Hi @Manifesting and @Ellie4 Those day to day struggles are present for many of us here and unfortunately finding the right mix of therapies/meds/support can often take time. I am in the fortunate position now where I have a great support team and have found (with a lot of help and persistence) the right meds to maintain a more balance and stable life. That does not mean life is a bed of roses but I have more good days than not so good. Part of that for me has been a greater work-life balance and an acceptance that when things are not so good that I can only take it hour by hour or day by day. DBT was good for developing this within myself but the support I have had from my team, my colleagues at work and also here on the forum has been so instrumental in that also. It has also taken a change of mindset to be kinder on myself and acknowledge that we can only do what is possible in the moment, not 'living' in the past or stressing about the future. This is however a continuous battle that some days I win and some days I do not. What is important for me though is that I acknowledge that some days are just days to get through and others are days I can find that small step forward ...and every one of those steps matter.

Just had to say @Zoe7 :

Thank you for saying this like this.

Really resonated 🙂

Thanks @StuF 😁

@Zoe7 thanks for your post it helps knowing there are people that can “mostly” find that balance.
I’m having difficulties in my journey at the min due to, living in a rural town and therapist in very high demand for the couple that are here, I’m just trying phone consultation, struggling a bit with this, but persevering.

Also struggling to keep myself occupied have been waiting for knee replacement surgery for last year, so have not been able to work, I had surgery just a few weeks ago, but still got close to a year to go as need the other knee replaced too.
when I’m a little more mobile (I can’t drive at the min) I’m looking at some kind of volunteer work to try ad get me out of the house a bit as I very rarely leave the house.

again Thankyou for sharing