Obsessive thoughts about an ex yet I’m in a new relationship

Hi @Jesse9494

I just wanted to reach out and welcome you to the forums - it’s great to have you here 💜

In my experience, participating in an online community for the first time can be incredibly daunting and as such, I think that you’ve done a wonderful job of introducing yourself and sharing some of the things that have been happening for you 😊

Just from what you’ve shared, I could really hear how desperately you’re trying to live a healthy life and find some relief from how you’re currently feeling 💜

In my experience, it can be incredibly distressing and frustrating when we’re doing everything within our power to make the changes in our lives that are important to us and yet despite our very best efforts, nothing appears to be changing 💜

As I listened to this part of your story, I felt curious when you shared ‘I don’t really feel calm, happy or just healthy in general’ and as such, I just ever so gently wondered if perhaps something has happened that has contributed to how you’re currently feeling?

Please know that although I’m always more than happy to listen to anything that you would like to share, I’m also incredibly sensitive to the fact that sometimes (for all sorts of reasons) we may not be able to share what’s happening for us. As such, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that there’s absolutely no pressure or expectations in relation to this and so please only share what feels safe and comfortable for you 💜

Although unfortunately, I’m unable to recommend any particular vitamins that may be helpful for you, I just wondered if you had a GP who you would feel comfortable sharing some of the things that you’ve shared with us here?

In my experience, GP’s are often a wonderful first point of call as they’re able to explore some of the underlying causes that may be contributing to how you’re currently feeling and safely guide you in terms of the vitamins that may be beneficial for you 💜

I really love how you’re working towards creating a healthy life for yourself and as such, I just wondered if some of the following activities and conversations may be of interest to you 😊

For example, every Monday, some members of our community come together to participate in a weekly online event aptly titled Mindful Monday 💜

Essentially, Mindful Monday is an ‘activity to help increase our awareness of feelings and emotions, how these impact us, and build up our self-care resources.’ If this is something that appeals to you, you’re always more than welcome to come along!

I’ve included the link to this particular event below, just in case this is something that you would like to explore further:

https://saneforums.org/t5/Looking-after-ourselves/Mindful-Mondays-New-activity-every-Monday/m-p/1130...

You’re also more than welcome to participate in one of our conversations that’s aptly titled ‘food and beverage choices for improved physical and psychological health and wellbeing’ 😊

I’ve included the link to this particular thread below, just in case this is something that you would like to explore further:

https://saneforums.org/t5/Welcome-getting-started/Food-and-Beverage-Choices-for-Improved-Physical-and/m-p/1136778

I’ve also invited a few of our wonderful Community Guides @maddison @Eve7 @Boo13 @CrazyChick and some of our amazing Peer Support Workers @Former-Member @Paperdaisy @tyme and @Former-Member to swing by, as they may also be able to offer you some support 💜

Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @Jesse9494 that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊

In the meantime, please know that you’re always welcome to reach out here whenever you need to 💜

I look forward to seeing you around the forums and talking with you again 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜

Hi @Jesse9494

I think there are many books, blogs, websites etc would suggest you take vitamins for happiness, especially those trying to sell them. But realistically vitamins and minerals can only really help if you are low in those vitamins. So it may be worth asking your GP if they think it is worth checking some of your vitamin/mineral levels to see if it is worth supplementing.

Some medications may affect your absorbtion of different vitamins & minerals - so it may be worth checking with your GP if there are common deficiencies related to the medications you are taking. So for example one of the medications that I was taking was known to reduce absorbtion of magnesium and b12, so my GP tested those levels and found they were low. Supplements of these vitamins helped me much more than a multivitamin.

Your GP should be able take into account:

- any medical conditions you have,

- lifestyle factors including diet and stress,

- medications you are taking,

- symptoms you are experiencing - such as fatigue,

They should be able to reccomend:

- blood tests if appropriate

- which supplement/s to try and what dose

- any other lifestyle changes or medication changes that may help

Good luck - hope you can find some ideas to help you with your mood and health.

Hi @Jesse9494 and welcome

The amount of support here is amazing. Such a caring and understanding group.
As others have said vitamins will help if there’s a deficiency. If you’re living a healthy lifestyle you would hope that your levels are normal. My diet, and probably many others is less than optimal, so deficiencies aren’t surprising.
You will likely have read that the B vitamins are good for mental health. Beware taking too much B can give you headaches. It did me.
Aside from vitamins I have some faith in herbal supplements. St John’s Wort is very well studied and has science behind it. It is an effective MAO inhibitor though, so shouldn’t be taken with other antidepressants.
The two most helpful herbs I’ve found for anxiety are Rhodiola and Ashwagandha.

I hope your spirits lift soon. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things to maintain good mental health.
Namaste 🙏

Hi @Jesse9494

Welcome to the forums 😊

Great question & something I have had previous interests in myself.

I agree with all the other responses & quickly want to echo how critical it is to seek medical advice. As @Sambo & @CrazyChick pointed out, I don't want to give you any advice that could lead to drug interactions.

Having said that, the most helpful supplement that I take is NAC. I feel it stabilises my stress levels. Starting dosage was smaller until my body got used to it. It caused some digestive issues initially. Now I am able to take much higher dose, with gp approval.

The second most useful vitamin for me is Vitamin D. I take a high dose every second day. I find my mind is more easily able to transition to a happy state.

I also find magnesium helpful for calm (and headaches). And I occasionally use L-tyrosine as a mood lifter & energy boost (I find it will lead to rebound fatigue if I use it too often)

There are also supplements such as Theanine, that are quite incredible in promoting a calm, happy mind. I use this on a 'as needed' basis, rather than daily. It can make me feel a bit flat if I take consistently.

Thanks for taking time to reach out & please keep us updated, if you find something that works for you🙂💚

Hi @Jesse9494 @maddison @Sambo @CrazyChick @ShiningStar,

Thank you for reaching out, and to everyone who has shared in this space. A holistic view of health and wellbeing is really important, and for many people supplements can play a role in wellbeing and recovery. I want to acknowledge and thank you all for mentioning the importance of seeking professional advice around supplements, as @maddison mentioned there can be drug interactions, so it's always safest to chat to a medical professional first.

I am hearing that vitamins have played a big part of many people's recovery journeys here- mine included!

I just wanted to pop by, acknowledge the importance of this conversation and space, but also just a reminder to be mindful of not posting any advice or doses. This conversation has been had in line with guidelines, just pre-empting in case there are questions around the guidelines in this space as we keep this conversation going 🙂 This discussion is a great example of how we all access lots of different supports for wellbeing 🙂