Just saying...

I can sympathize so much, @Historylover .

In school, we are taught to lead by example, but they never warn you how rarely that strategy actually works; how often you find yourself carrying much, much more then your fair share, and being treated like crap while you do so. While nobody else follows your lead and begins to do the right thing.

There's something isolating about virtue; and I don't mean that in a good way.

Maybe it's all just one big practical joke. Like, the adults tell all the kids "do the right thing; lead by example", just so they can all point and laugh at us when some of us actually fall for the gag and take that advice seriously. It certainly doesn't seem to be an actual cornerstone of our society.

Hi @chibam

In my experience, the safest and easiest path through life is to keep your head down, your mouth shut and try and do what the majority of people expect from you. The more that you stick your head up above the crowd, try to lead or god help you try to change something that is wrong, the more people will try and knock you down. It just seems to be a characteristic of human nature to want to maintain the status quo no matter how dysfunctional, destructive, inappropriate or useless it may be.

Regards

Willy

How very true, @chibam, regarding there being something isolating about virtue.

I'm trying to understand this system but you have to be able to beat it to survive!

Nicely put @Willy.

Hi Everyone, @Historylover @chibam, @Willy & Others 😊

I'm hearing here that a lot of those who care for others can struggle with receiving the same sort of care you provide to others. I completely hear the big feelings this has brought up- I've been there and I've felt so much of the kind of disappointment and at times resentment this can cause myself at times. Based on those experiences, I want to say that it has taken time, but I have found others who will check in on me just as I check in on them- it does happen! Something I've learnt through that process also is that sometimes, I need to reach out for support. If anyone here is struggling or would like some support and care, I want to encourage you to reach out- there is Beyond Blue (1300 224636), Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) and SANE's Helpcentre or Peer Support services as just a few options available to you.

For me, @TideisTurning, you missed the point. Sorry.

@Willy heaven forbid if some one is different ..... I learnt my lesson when I was manic and out of control.

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@Willy wrote:

Hi @chibam

In my experience, the safest and easiest path through life is to keep your head down, your mouth shut and try and do what the majority of people expect from you. The more that you stick your head up above the crowd, try to lead or god help you try to change something that is wrong, the more people will try and knock you down. It just seems to be a characteristic of human nature to want to maintain the status quo no matter how dysfunctional, destructive, inappropriate or useless it may be.

Regards

Willy

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All too true, I'm afraid, @Willy .

But my dillemma is that, if we resign ourselves to simply "keeping our heads down, our mouths shut and try and do what the majority of people expect from us.", what's the point of surviving at all?

From where I stand, the one and only theoretical justification for surviving in this very, very wrong world has been that if we fight hard enough, we may be able to right the wrongness and turn this world into a place that's actually worth living in. If not for ourselves, then at least for those who may follow in our footsteps.

I've tried for 37 years to right the wrongs in my family and our world, @chibam, and have only recently stopped. It's not a matter of 'if you can't beat them, join them', but 'I can't beat them, so I'll just let them do their own thing, and play along if I have to'. I do otherwise when it affects me personally.

I agree with @Willy. I've given up on people changing irw. I've stopped believing in people's intrinsic goodness, that if shown a better way they will change. It's PHOOEY!

And the notion of a 'fair go'? Just a claim to decency in the real world which is non-existent in so many of its inhabitants, not to be actually practised. Just talk.

In the real world, I'm keeping my mouth shut, my head down and just playing along. Trying not to draw attention to myself.

EDIT: Later that day: maybe I'm just having a grouchy day. Sorry to all if it seems that I am.