Magnet for toxic people

Hey there @Former-Member

I can relate to having times when it’s been necessary to reassess the types of relationships in my life.

Some coming through abrupt fractures with similar people you might be describing as 'toxic', some intentional as a way of preserving my own boundaries around what I want & deserve in my life. I really admire your active approach in having support around communication and it sounds like the intention of having this change in your life is important to you.

Also, thanks for opening up about your own experiences @MDT great to feel sense of relatedness with not feeling like the only one having gone through various situations.

Thanks @Former-Member @hopefully things get better

Hi @Former-Member

I can certainly relate to what you are saying. Unfortunately I don’t have any good answers, even after trying to deal with this problem myself for many years.

Many people who I have known with schizophrenia have been so heavily medicated that they were unable to work or even have much of a social life. I suppose that solves the problem through lack of exposure although it is hardly an ideal or even slightly acceptable solution. If you are like me and fortunately are able to work, then you have to somehow try and deal with the real world which can be, let us just say, “challenging”.

In my experience, work places can attract toxic people in various degrees. What I have managed to work out is that it inevitably starts right at the top of an organisation with senior management. I could list a number of major Australian companies that are well known for being extremely toxic places to work.

The first obvious thing that you can do is move to another work environment although this of course is often easier said than done. What I also used to do was keep my ear to the ground about good and bad places to work and try to avoid the bad places.

I always used to try and hide my mental illness problems but came to realise over time that this didn’t help. It sounds from what you say that you grew up with these problems in a similar way to which I did. This shapes your behaviour and character which in turn makes you an easy target for these people no matter how much you try and hide it. It seems to me that certain types of people will hone in on these characteristics and take advantage of them, making your life a misery in the process.

I have recently started with a new psychologist with a fairly specific agenda of what and how I want to achieve things. I will be bringing up some somewhat related issues at our next meeting in a couple of days time with the objective of trying to “bullet proof” myself against toxic people. I am hoping that it will be of some use which I will employ together with just trying to avoid toxic environments as much as possible.

Regards
Willy

Thanks @Willy @some of what your saying if not all resonates with me… I’m hoping to beo

cone bullet proof also

I hear you @Former-Member

tyme

Thanks @tyme

Hey @Former-Member ,

How are you travelling today?

Just wanted to check in and let you know I'm thinking of you.

tyme

Hi @tyme @it’s a fairly common experience for me lately but some days they must overlook me - today was good, worked - now hopefully I can enjoy the weekend. But thanks for thinking of me, need to find a way as @Willy put it to avoid them altogether. When my meds weren’t working properly I was suffering due to sleep issues, now that my meds are working I’m suffering from a different method, no escape from suffering lol

Thank you for sharing this @Former-Member .

Sometimes it's so hard to stay away from toxic people. Try as we might, we just get sucked in. I think for me, I used to avoid everyone IN CASE they were toxic. Over time, I've learnt more about myself to be able to shift my perspective of toxic people - hence it's enabled me to endure their presence.

Really, it's sad that people are like that. To me, I feel there must be an underlying issue that causes them to be the way they are whether it's the need to control, inability to sympathise... I really don't know.

Also, being around toxic people helps me grow as a person. It reminds of the person I DON'T want to be. So maybe there is some benefit?

Happy to see you though 😉

tyme