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BillijeanCasual Contributor
My story in brief. My 43 year old daughter has mental delusions and has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She was in hospital for 8 weeks last year. Is no longer working.
She won't take medication she has shut me out of her life and tells me that everything is my fault.
I am at a loss on how I can help.
I've been a single mum while she was growing up.
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HistoryloverSenior Contributor
@Billijean, I'm so sorry your relationship with your daughter is so difficult at the moment. Everything just gets so difficult sometimes and we are at a loss as to what to do. I don't know what to do with mine either. I didn't know motherhood was so difficult. We can only do our best. I can only send my best wishes.
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AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Hello @Billijean
There seems an immature narrative going around on the internet that parents should be perfect. It seems to encrourage a lot of young people to have unrealistic expectations and cut off their parents. It is not good for social cohesion generally and tragic for individual relationships. Its time we dropped using the perfect word so much. There are no perfect people. If they seem that way, it might be too good to be true. Yes my life has been touched by similar circumstances.
Take care and welcome to the forum.
In response to: Hello l have just signed up
tymeModerator
Hi @Billijean ,
I so sorry to hear how tough things are for you at the moment.
As @Historylover has mentioned, motherhood is so challenging, then to have your child shut you out - I can only imagine. The loss is real.
Having BPD (borderline personality disorder) is so challenging itself. They often struggle to find their own identity. The most painful part for them is relationships.
From experience, the most important part is to empower them. There is little you can do if they don't want you to help them. I know this is hard to hear, but giving them space to find their feet may work. For some people, it takes months. Others take years.
The best thing you can do is tell them you are there for them and they can come to you when they feel able (they will have to make the move).
The hardest for you now is to wait.
I've been there.
tyme
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KrishnaSenior Contributor
Hi and welcome @Billijean There are many of us here with similar situations. My daughter suffers from paranoid schizophrenia and she too has excluded me from her life. 2 years now. Extremely painful for we parents to be estranged from our kids, 27 but still my girl. All I am able to suggest is self care and keeping the lines of communication open now and then. There is nothing I can do to help my girl and probably the same for you if your daughter had chosen not to have you involved in her life but never give up hope. It’s the raft I cling to. Take good care of yourself and feel free to tag me if you need to talk 🙏❤️
In response to: Re: Hello l have just signed up
tymeModerator
Hugs @Krishna ,
That is a truly heart felt response. One of the hardest things for a parent to do is to 'let go' of their child. It doesn't mean you don't love them. You love them only TOO much.
@Krishna wrote:
keeping the lines of communication open now and then... never give up hope. ❤️
That is incredibly powerful @Krishna and @Billijean .
My heart goes out to you both.
tyme
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BillijeanCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: Hello l have just signed up
BillijeanCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: Hello l have just signed up
tymeModerator
From what I remember, I believe there are some threads in the Carer's forum relating to caring for someone with BPD.
You may be interested in:
1) Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT
2) LIVE CHAT: BPD for Friends, Family and Carers - This Sunday 3rd October 7:00-8:30pm AEDT
Happy to hear if these threads are of any assistance. You also have the option of searching 'BPD' or 'Borderline Personality Disorder' in the forums' search bar.
tyme
In response to: Re: Hello l have just signed up
BillijeanCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: Hello l have just signed up
BillijeanCasual Contributor
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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