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Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Trigger Warning- Talks about self-harm

March is self-harm awareness month and it’s about raising awareness and reducing stigma. Self-harming behaviour is often a way of coping with negative or overwhelming emotions. For some people, it can centre around a need to have some control, or it can be a way of releasing built up tension and anxiety. There are lots of different reasons why people self harm.

While not uncommon, there are safer ways we can cope with distress, and support our recovery journey. We can do this by learning new ways to manage those uncomfortable emotions and move towards more sustainable ways of dealing with distress- you may have heard this described as “distress tolerance”, “emotion regulation” or “alternatives to self harm”. Here, we call it building up your distress toolbox.

Some immediate alternatives to self-harm/harm minimisation

· Hold some cold ice cubes in your hand

· Place an elastic band around your wrist and flick it

· Distract yourself

· Have a hot or cold shower

· Play loud music

· Breathing exercises

· Go for a walk/ exercise

· Put something sour or spicy in your mouth and focus on the taste/sensation

· Draw on yourself

· Punch a pillow or a punching bag

· Scream into a pillow

· Shake your hands vigorously

· Seek support/call a friend

Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions throughout their life. Sometimes people who self-harm have difficulty feeling intense emotions, so learning new ways to cope with intense feelings can help overcome the need to self-harm. Emotion regulation is about accepting those negative emotions with some awareness and care. More on this here

For the community: How do you manage distress? Do you have any alternatives to self harm that we haven’t mentioned here?

Some more useful links:

Lifeline Factsheet

Delay. Distract. Divert. Deep Breathing.

Calm Harm app for managing self-harm

Please note: The purpose of this discussion is to talk about ways of coping with distress. I encourage you to review the community guidelines and please be mindful when talking about self-harm. Thank you 💝

28 replies

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In response to: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

@chibam it sounds like what should have been a safe and caring relationship wasn't what you experienced and I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. It sounds like you have an understanding of what happened here regarding your SH, and from my understanding recognising the why is an important step to recovery or prevention. Sounds like you are learning to sit with distress and that can be a tool, as we remember that our emotions aren't permanent, but also reframing can be a useful tool in my experience. I have posted a bit about there over here . Thank you for sharing 💝

In response to: Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

I have posted a little about my tools for distress tolerance over here https://saneforums.org/t5/Looking-after-ourselves/Distress-Tolerance/m-p/1155923#M88939

Thank you to everyone who has contributed so thoughtfully to this thread. It's a really important conversation and I thank you for being open in having this discussion here with me 😊

In response to: Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022


@Paperdaisy wrote:

Sounds like you are learning to sit with distress and that can be a tool, as we remember that our emotions aren't permanent, but also reframing can be a useful tool in my experience.


Just to clarify, @Paperdaisy , sometimes people get unhappy just because they are randomly beset by bad emotions; but other times they are unhappy because something in their life is really wrong. And while it may be true in many cases that emotions aren't permanent, in many others, particularly in cases where the unhappiness has a real-world cause, they can be permanent if the real-world crisis is permanent.

That's my situation. Permanent crisis begets permanent misery. I sit and stew when the awfulness of it all pushes to the forefront of my mind; but even when I'm distracted by other things, life is no easier, nor pleasant to endure. My coping with the situation only appeases other people. It does me no favors. And no matter how well I cope through today, tomorrow I'm just gonna wake up in the same old nightmare again. Unless I kick off in my sleep, of course. 😄

In response to: Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Thank you for bringing this to the table @chibam you make a really good point.


Being with distress & people experiences of distress are very different. As well as what may or may not help with that.
And I hear that permanent crisis is what it is currently for you.

Your passion around advocacy has always hit home for me and I really value your own wisdom & takes on these various conversations.

In response to: Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Thanks, @Former-Member 🙂

In response to: Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

You do make a really good point @chibam and I'm sorry if my comments sounded dismissive, that wasn't my intention at all. Thank you for raising this 😊

In response to: Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Thanks, @Paperdaisy . And no offense was taken. 🙂

What you were saying is, I'm sure, true for a great many people. I just thought it was important to note that there are also other versions of the dillemma out there.

In response to: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

Re: Self Harm Awareness Month- March 2022

I've started going to the gym and also doing boxing classes which I love . I try being kind to myself eating by myself . apparently this is a problem people interpret bit as rude .I don't have the capsity to eat at a large table with others for many reasons .

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